I don’t know if you’ll find this advice useful or helpful - lord knows I moved to another city to before I even started to figure out my relationship with my parents.
but anyway, don’t forget that you’re under no obligation to engage. Just because he’s your dad doesn’t mean you have to respond, or correct, or defend. You can just “uh huh” and “oh” your way through that part of the conversation.
Arguing with him isn’t necessarily going to lead to some kind of teachable moment. You don’t have to pretend to agree. But don’t drive yourself crazy beating your head against a brick wall
The “sticking up for the weak” thing is pretty weird though. That’s generally regarded as a virtue in most of the circles I run in. Also by most christians
I want to hope he is mislabeling because in any in depth context he references people that game the system to take what they don’t deserve by faking illness or infirmity (we have had a couple. Our extended family so naturally everyone is a moocher.)
As for not engaging hr keeps pressing and then uses my lack of response as ‘oh I don’t have to talk to you either.’
2016 was the - so far - deadliest years for refugees travelling across the Mediterranean sea to Europe, with some 5000 recorded drowned persons. The main route is Libya to Italy, with the first more or less defunctional after the revolution and bombing for freedom, carried out mostly by France, UK and US.
A few days ago a report by the German foreign ministry was published, decrying the miserable and inhumane conditions for refugess in Libya.
Guess what happened? Italy announced that they made a deal with the Libyan government, with the main goal to hinder refugees to set sail. This agreement is a blueprint for an EU-wide deal, at the moment the leaders have a summit on Malta.
The deal, in intent and impact similar to the Turkey deal, will result in lots of misery, and is made worse when one sees that the EU has absolutely no long-term strategy, I am not aware of any concrete plans (or even ideas for plans) on how to help Libya to become a stable and functioning state.
Instead of simple walls Europe is using whole countries as roadblocks.
Fuck today: T is mentally ill leading the most powerful arsenal on the planet. Brothers/Sisters. Do the right thing, no matter the crazy command. This man’s ego will not end America; that is all.
I am very sorry for your loss. I’ve been there, and there are a lot of the expected emotions (sadness) and some selfish ones (guilt, betrayal, etc). That is never easy to deal with.
However, I’ve been on the other side of this as well. When I was suicidally depressed, I was only desperately looking for an escape, and other people didn’t factor in at all. It was like I had to destroy myself to save myself. The scariest part is that this feeling is not immediately obvious to anyone.
Fuck today. Fuck bipolar II, you insidious cabbage who reeks of human excrement: My little girl, 8 years old, brought me a store-packaged bunch of daisies. I forgot to put them in water, they died, and she was very upset. I didn’t forget because I don’t care. I didn’t forget because I was working. I forgot because I’m in the bad days, and how do you explain that to an 8-year-old? IDK.
Fuck you, today. I have to believe tomorrow will be better.
In a pretty crap mood. Family got done explaining to me based on real world experience why I am objectivally wrong and why liberals are letting illegals steal food from their mouths.
In fairness? The examples they gave of a local immigrant family passing a store along using a loophole in the system to get out of paying tax because immigrant and something about giving it to a sibling and leaving for a year then coming back, or this couple that is getting eight hundred bucks in SNAP?
Pretty damning and I can’t argue with them when they keep slamming example after example of that down.
And when I got called out on ‘defending the gays.’ I can’t tell them the real reason. Moral stances to one side I just can’t because of how they would probably react if they knew I wanted to date someone transgendered. Mom MIGHT accept or at least be polite. My stepdad? No.
But more to the point why I get so defensive not just around them but everyone? I fwwl like I have to punch up above where I am constantly. I do not feel like I hold any weight in any conversation or group talking to people who can and do hold more respect. This has gotten me in trouble elsewhere, but it leaves me going into a ‘discussion’ feeling like I have to arm for battle and it never feels like it’ll end well.
Edit: Elaboration time.
Mom cannot work because her heart has gone bad, but because of how much my stepdad makes she gets zero benefits. She is under the belief that José illegal can come in get a free phone’ full medical, housing, and food all from the government. Given she is of this belief this is possible (a belief stemmed from observation, so telling her that is wrong may as well be climbing up a sheer cliff made of slick ice covered in grease.) This angers her because my aunt on her side has had lifelong handicaps. I have handicaps. My twin and my sister are handicapped. Yet because of how the system supposedly has been rigged by Obama hard working people have to psy for illegals or undeservings to get care that can go to the elderly or those that literally cannot work. Her rage is born of the fact she is facing the end of her life and seeing a system that is going to leave those that depend on her ability to navigate beurocracy without while giving immigrants and ‘lazy’ people everything. Citing constant seeing people with nice cars and jewelry using SNAP at the grocery. She sees herself and her family as cornered and burdened. She feels her rage is just.
Did they give you details on the “technically still married” stuff? Maybe it’s not their fault, the person bailed and they don’t know where they are to divorce them properly?
But often, someone who has that situation just has real issues sorting out their life. Not always, of course, but often. [quote=“AcerPlatanoides, post:3154, topic:67518”]
I had an epic good date. The kind that leads to trouble.
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But can’t it lead to good things, also? Or is this the same thing as the person you were chatting with?
In this case it could definitely lead somehwere. Rare to meet someone so self-aware and kind, and fun. Like, RARE.
That said, it’s one date who who knows, but that was a fantastic date, with an emphatic “yes, again, soon” at the end when I indicated I’d be quite glad to see her again.
Also, it was the first date I’ve been on when the President didn’t come up. That was amazing. At the end i mentioned that and we had a high five. Then I heard the most amaing sentence. “Yeah, I’m over complaining about that, I really only want to talk about what to DO about it.” [my heart skipped a beat for the third time that night]
People, if you’re dating, stop talking about the president! The other two people I had coffee with this week would not stop talking about it (which is fine, but probably not a great first impression!!!)
Given today I literally jumped out of a moving truck because I was that frustrated with my stepdad’s needling (did you ever wonder why liberal and lybian sound the same libtard?) I mean yea it was my stepdad rolling to a stop in our driveway but still.
Dumb move but my words have failed. Actions needed to be taken to show them that they had gone and been going too far.
Me and my stepdad are a lot alike in many ways. My parents have much good. But… Just… They have never been in a position where they are absolutely powerless and lacking good sane alternitives.
