Gallery of 34 notes written by pissed-off neighbors

"Pet elephants bowling"
Awesome

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All I could think of upon reading that was Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.

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I’ve had to do a couple of these. The neighbors used to have parties every week, and occasionally I would find a large pile of table scraps in our yard just across the property line. After this happened a few times I put up a sign “Please don’t dump your leftovers in our yard.” They stopped.

The meanest thing I did was when someone left a car in front of our parking area in the rental I shared with friends in college. When it hadn’t been moved in a couple of days, I took the oversize oil pastels I was using for an art project and wrote across the front of the windshield and hood, “MOVE YOUR CAR”. At least when the cops came to tow the car they didn’t have to ask which was the abandoned vehicle.

p.s. I’d much rather have you put your bagged dog poop in our trash can than leave it in front of our house.

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How can a plea pet anything?

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#LOLz!

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I don’t miss apartment living. We had two guys living below us who would routinely sing karaoke to Madonna and Cher at 2:00am on weeknights. Then they had the stones to yell at my wife for making too much noise walking around during the day (The official quote was: “What are you wearing? Clodhoppers?!”). The day they got evicted was a good day.

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The fun part about buried peanuts is that, if the shell remains sealed, it’s gas-tight, so you get anaerobic decomposition.

And anaerobically-decomposed peanuts are, in fact, one of the most amazingly awful, disgusting, nauseating smells you’re ever likely to encounter.

Even without benefit of chemotherapy-nausea, it’s an utterly revolting, genuinely stomach-turning smell. And the peanut shells can pop open and spray the nasty liquid all over when one is digging in the garden.

So, if you must give the little critters peanuts, please crack the shells first.

Better yet, give’m something like shell walnuts that will stand up well to being buried, and provide useful nutrition when dug up later.

Peanuts are not a good choice for squirrels, because even if the peanuts don’t rot, they often harbor aflatoxin-producing fungi, which squirrels are very susceptible to.

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Portland Noted is a nice collection of signs, including a lot of passive-aggressive ones. Sadly, it hasn’t been updated since March.

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or a still-sealed tin of Planters.

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Wow, at the person who is aggro enough to write an angry note, but not smart enough to know there’s a big freakin’ difference between feces and fetus.

#O_o

Off the top of my head, all I can think of is if they have to reach into their garbage after the fact for some reason; encountering bagged feces that you didn’t put there would be quite an unpleasant surprise.

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I know it’s hot outside today. Why don’t we all go run through the sprinklers instead?

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That for me was the total winz.

I know on Sunday I would have killed for someone to bust open a fire hydrant like they used to when I was a kid; I can generally take the heat, but that ish was damn near unbearable.

Luckily, today it’s not nearly as stifling…

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Not too bad today, especially with the lowish humidity, but everyone does sound a bit grouchy, like they’ve been cooped up next to hot smelly trash bins all day.

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They were inspired by the Matrix and are making dog batteries, one took the blue pill.

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How this cat person views this whole thread derail:

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This topic is temporarily closed for 4 hours due to a large number of community flags.

I never thought I’d have to say this - but there’s just too much shit in here.

Who knew how shitty this post would be? But now, there’s too much poop in my bin, so I was forced to clean it all out.

Lets please not add any more shittiness to the topic. Thanks!

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