Gays blamed for immoral 'tight pants' by church leader

What would a man who preaches hatred and intolerance ever know about God???

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Why are these fundies always thinking about gays and gay sex? What is up with that?

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Actually, I read it to mean they are a sect that makes women’s hats. Need coffee and a new eyeglass prescription…

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I wear mine until I have to go out further than the boundaries of the my home.

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Huh. Homosexuals are responsible for my tight pants. And all this time I’ve been blaming my wife’s extremely tasty chocolate chip cookies. What a fool I’ve been.

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But, were the chocolate chips homosexual?

Are heterosexual tight pants obsolete? Because this:

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Thanks for that. I’ve personally not heard that explanation (Nor do they seem to have any real supporting evidence that it started in prisons per se) but I had heard that the reason it became a thing in hiphop fashion is allegedly because some of these kids grew up in low socio-economic situations where you wouldn’t get new clothes, just hand-me-downs from older brothers or relatives. If you had massive jeans it was a way of saying “you can mess with me, but do you want to mess with the monster who fits these pants?”

IIRC I’d also heard the suicide watch story previously.

I don’t know about you, but as soon as I see those tight pants, my normally cis-brain magically changes and I want to slurp down a giant sausage. Wait, no, that’s not me (or anyone else really). Maybe it’s just Mr. Morris III (who just has a wide stance).

God apparently has a very narrow range of pants tightness that He approves of. I wonder how people in biblical times, nevermind draped-in-sinfully-loose-rags Christ himself, managed to adhere to these exacting standards.

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Let’s see, the Jehovah’s Witness’s have predicted the end-times at least 3 times. For they 3rd one, they tried to be a little more fuzzy about the date, only predicting it would occur in the 20th century. Yeah, missed that one, too. So they’re a really credible group to get advice from.

I need really loose pants to manage the huge erection I have all the time.

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damn dyslexia…got my hopes up for immortal tight pants. so much for my plans on living forever in skinny jeans.

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This sounds like a covert confession that he finds men in tight pants alluring which makes it harder for him to be homophobic and hate on God’s creatures (but he’ll try goshdarnit). Also women in tight clothes are godless because they’re trying to be sexy like the boys are but clearly aren’t, they just make poor old men think of dudes it skin tight clothing. Oh ya, only the tight clothes manufactured by the gays are bad, all hetero clothes designers are fine (hehe there are none!).

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Convincing your child to wear what you wish is a reliable uphill battle.

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Immoral? No. Crime against fashion (in most cases)? Yes. Sorry guys, but if you push those skinny jeans low on your waist, it looks like you’re sportin’ a full diaper instead of underwear.

That’s why we need to bring back high-cut skinny pants like David Bowie wore in The Labyrinth.

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A herd of immoral bastards. Cause Mr. Morris told me so.

Uh oh. They’re praying. Now I’m really confused.

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Oh my, what a GIF. Have you seen the end of The Man Who Sold the World?