Gentleman arrested for smuggling cocaine inside fake penis

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/06/24/gentleman-arrested-for-smuggli.html

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Are you happy to see me or are you smuggling bolivian marching powder?

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TSA: Do you have any illegal narcotics on your person, sir? Cocaine, perhaps?

TRAVELER: (Feigning indignation) Blow? Me??

TSA: I’m going to need to need you to take off your underwear.

TRAVELER: Wait that’s not what I meant…

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Let he who has not smuggled cocaine inside a fake penis for personal use later cast the first stone. I would it expect it to be as common as running a yellow light. I mean, what else would you use your fake penis for, if not to smuggle cocaine? This whole case is a travesty.

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weird. I have never had any issues smuggling a real penis inside a fake penis before. :thinking:

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It does beg the question of how TSA deals with legit fake penii.

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I remember an old “News of the Weird” article on a man who injected cocaine into his penis and got a 48-hour priapasm, which resulted in gangrene and the required amputation of his little buddy.

So . . . goddamned right he put cocaine into a fake penis.

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Mentally trying to do the conversions to figure out if I should be impressed by the volume of cocaine he fit inside the fake penis…

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Was there a tattoo of “Welcome to Jamaica, Have a nice day” involved?

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really curious how he worked the fake one into place with his real one in the way. then again, maybe it’s just as simple as tucking, i don’t know.

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Dammit, Bubba! Ya beat me to it!
So you know ‘Wendy’, too?!

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Ummm. Probably should have picked just one, pal.

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By any chance, is this gentleman a cousin of Dexter St. Jacques? (NSFW)

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What if I didn’t know it was a fake penis ?

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“They’ll never check the fake penis! . . .I can’t believe they found my fake cocaine-filled penis.”

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Why didn’t he suitcase it like a normal person?

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/suitcase

The cocaine or the penis?

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Customs Inspector: “I call fake. There’s only one Ron Jeremy… and you may get to meet him.”

In the prison slang form of the verb to suitcase, you’d be better to hide it in a butt plug that wouldn’t slip out. Even if they find it, they might not realize that it’s a cover for smuggling cocaine.

Then again, if they’ve seen a fake penis used to smuggle cocaine, then they’ve probably seen everything else already.