Gentleman steals $2,100 from an office safe, then gets busted after falling asleep mid-robbery


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Probably a narcokleptic.


Needless to say, the 36-year-old burglar was arrested.

Also needless to say, a bottle of vodka was involved.

[note to Carla: @beschizza gets first dibs on safe-related stories around here]


In Russia, safe arrests you!


I have a hard time staying up past 9, so I would very likely to this. “Cat burglar” was never in the cards for me.


Rules to live by

  • no beer before the move is over
  • no sleeping during the heist


Theft is a crime best committed while a) sober and b) fully rested.

In Russia, the first of those is a rather hard ask.


Then he deserves another chance.


Stashing a bottle of vodka in your safe may be good burglar protection.


Sounds like he didn’t steal $2,100. He stole a nap, maybe.


Must add these to the ones I learned from Coach Finstock…

“There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger anywhere on her body.”


He was stealing money to buy a CPAP machine.


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