âOf course I wrote The Art of the Deal, because thatâs what I do. I write books. Iâm the best book writer that youâve ever seen, because I write the best books that youâve ever seen. Hemingway? Heâs got nothin on me. Steinbeck? Nothin. And Tony Schwarz? He was havin a bad spell and I felt sorry for him, so I let him put his name on my book. MY book. Look. Why do you think my name is first on the cover? Because itâs my book. A book about deals. And art. And I make the best deals and the best art that anyoneâs ever seen. Vote for me.â
(This is, of course, parody, because Trump would not know who either Hemingway or Steinbeck are.)
Appropos of nothing else: I made a slipcover of an imaginary Ben Carson book. You can print, cut to size, and put it over whatever book youâre reading. Great conversation starter!