Girl can wiggle her eyelids

Originally published at:


For the record, I cannot do any of the following:

Wiggle my eyelids
Roll my Rs
Curl or invert my tongue
Clear my eustacian tubes (pop ears) without extreme difficulty
Gleek (squirt saliva from under my tongue)
Hyper-extend any joints
Do anything remotely resembling the splits
Complete a forward or reverse summersault
Whistle using fingers
Independently move my eyeballs
Wiggle my ears
Dance in any way that correlates to music

I have nothing more to contribute to society. Soon it shall be time:


I’ve seen this movie. At first she seems to just have some lesser version of a relatively mundane superpower and mastering even that is challenging, but soon she surpasses her teacher and discovers she can bend all of reality to her whim.

Clearly she’s an airbender.


there is no spoon


google eyebrow wiggle porn. Rule 34 never disappoints.

vestigal muscles for engaging Nictitating membrane?


Is that an exhaustive list of the things you can’t do?

Asking for a friend.


I can wiggle my eyeballs. No, seriously.

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My brain wiggles watching that.

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So does a heart tattoo by the corner of your eye mean 1 year of hard time as a prisoner of love?


Can you do the Vulcan hand sign? Very important.


now that would be some strange Synthol-ing

From They Live, 1988, image found on Giphy

Well you definitely are not a Reptilian humanoid.

It does not mean you are not any of this Wikipedia list of alleged extraterrestrial beings (not nearly exhaustive according to the Coast-To-Coast crowd) hiding on Earth.

Perhaps you are the next evolution of Mank Ind.

I dub thee Homo sapiens futnuh or perhaps Homo futnuh if you are a new species.

Note: I also found no meaning to futnuh on Google- so I am safe to say we can define you as the first specimen found with this name. Please turn yourself into the nearest museum for preservation in formalin.


I have an overly-sensitive gag reflex. I only know this because when I lived in Japan, I developed a chronic sore throat from the pollution that necessitated a hospital visit where an ENT tried and failed to snake a camera down my oesophagus.

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I can indeed. Thank you for drawing my attention to what was otherwise an ego-crushing catalog of inability.


Officially dis-human.

Her hair is covering up the essential secret(!): her ears are being wiggled and the lower lids are just going along for the ride. (By a cunning usage of the Auricularis Anterior muscle, underdeveloped in all but the most feline/vixen-like humans)


Well you got that going for you.

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I think I can do it.
Am I doing it, am I doing it?

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I can do this, but only with my left eyelid.

Bodies are dumb.