Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/03/06/brads-seriously-into-it.html
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And with this one speech, Rep. Klippert leaps straight to the top of the list of “Lawmakers most likely to be found naked in a Motel 6 with a camel in the next 12 months”.
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Anyone this angry about anal has clearly never tried it.
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But, maybe that’s why.
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So wait, that language wasn’t in the bill, he’s just listing off what kinds of pics might be out there? o_0
Man, I know we have puritanical roots, and child exploitation is bad, but kids have been fucking since man has existed, and now that everyone has a camera, everyone is taking nude and sexual pics. Hell, I, uh, may have known a 19 year old or two who used those disposable film cameras to take some pics. Casual friend, you wouldn’t know them… Where as I? Oh yes. Yeah, this shouldn’t be a crime.
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I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the sound of him clutching his anal beads.
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I wonder if these guys script out the whole thing in advance, like WWE professional wrestlers calling their moves so no one gets hurt. They wouldn’t want any miscues that break the kayfabe.
I can see this guy as a pro wrestler. I’d guess he’d be … the Anal Avenger.
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“Brad Klippert, you are the next contestant on ‘GOP Projectionist’! Come on down!”
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I’m just looking at it, right now.
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So there is the rub right?
In these instances I look at the adult and I repeat the wisdom of Dory, “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to them. Then nothing would ever happen to them.”
We shouldn’t have laws that prevent our kids from exploring themselves and their world, we should only have laws that will protect them from being exploited as they do that exploration. The only thing that will allow my sons or daughter to make good choices is me reminding them “make smart choices”, allowing them to experience the repercussions of bad choices, and supporting them through the whole process.
Assholes like this guy seem to forget THAT is what parenting is all about.
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There might be perfectly good reasons to be concerned about adolescents exploring the limits of their hardware compatibility - immaturity and consent, the spread of STDs, teen pregnancy (everybody’s favorite beating-off horse), but a bill decriminalizing consensual sexting doesn’t bear on any of those things.
By frothing at the mouth every time a conversation turns to sex, conservatives garuantee that the real issues won’t be discussed. It’s almost as if they’re afraid that focussing attention on topics like affirmative consent might lead to a bad outcome for… someone.
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Frenzied rants about anal sex are best delivered while having anal sex.
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I’m having anal sex right now!
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Send snacks!
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In a grandstanding, bizarre speech from the floor, Klippert read out a long, salacious list of sexual acts that teens might engage in, slavering as he ranted about anal sex, bestiality (!), gay sex, S&M, and more.
I dunno about you all, but I had no interest in kink when I was a teen. I mean, honestly, holding hands was enough to get my hormones raging. Vanilla sex was a life-changing event. Kink was only a dirty joke until my 30’s really.
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The impression I have is that they (Conservatives) want full control over everyone’s bodies, and for anyone who is having sex outside of a marriage sanctioned by white Jesus involving anything but the “proper” alignment of genitals to be punished in every way possible. Don’t let them know about STIs, or have protection against STIs, so they contract STIs. Don’t let them have anything but abstinence-only/faith based sex education, so they end up pregnant teens. Don’t wait for the “sinners” to be judged by God, make them suffer here and now. Suffer, suffer, suffer. Rinse & repeat.
Hmm. Speaking for myself, I was a very dirty little monkey. It’s a lucky thing I’m not a teen these days. Although the advice available would have been a lot better.
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“…Klippert said, apparently unaware of the permission-seeking trope popular among subs and doms…”
Apparently unaware? Are you really, really sure about that?
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frenzied rant about anal sex
I see a lot of jealousy in that rant.
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But somehow they cannot stop thinking about it all the time.
But thinking about it makes them feel ashamed and guilty. So they attack the idea with all the rhetorical force they can muster.
Unhinged anti-sex ranting seems to never come out of the mouth of someone who has a happy, well adjusted sex life, or who is not deeply in need of therapy.
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