Originally published at: GOP liar George Santos claims assassination attempt in 2021 | Boing Boing
…
5 Likes
All I hear now is Randy Rainbow singing “Santos says he’s Ariana Grande’s mom”
15 Likes
It’s not an assassination if you’re a nobody. And he sure as hell isn’t a somebody, even now.
14 Likes
Assassins also don’t steal watches and briefcases. Assassins kill people.
25 Likes
This Big Fish reboot is terribly ill-advised.
22 Likes
I checked the obituaries just now and I’ve seen at least half a dozen successful assassination attempts on people who are as likely to be George Santos as whoever this guy is.
6 Likes
Yeaaaaaahh…that’s the ticket!
20 Likes
I heard George Santos claims he’s about 2600 years old and was the inspiration for Aesop’s fable about the boy who cried wolf.
Santos swears that there were actually wolves each time he cried out, but that they hid before the adults of his village arrived.
15 Likes
Given he has so many identities, which one were they trying to assassinate?
9 Likes
Maybe he’s thinking about a character assassination, but even then, he’s doing it by himself.
18 Likes
He’d have to have character for that to be true.
11 Likes
“they weren’t Black, they were even white”
Way to bury the lede. This will be the shocking part to his supporters.
12 Likes
They took his wallet and briefcase, and forgot all about the actually killing part. One star reviews on Yelp can really hurt your career as an aspiring assassin.
17 Likes
I survived an assassination attempt in the woods last year. I was swarmed by hundreds of folks. They weren’t even black or white, they were mosquitos and they stole my blood. Milliliters of it! It’s surreal what I went through while camping.
11 Likes
Too bad they probably weren’t even real.
4 Likes
“See, I’m actually George Soros, not George Santos…”
3 Likes
9 Likes
You would think, but inflation and the general state of the economy have hit the assassin community hard. Bullets are practically unaffordable, while pay rates are so low that the only way to make a job profitable is if you can pad the bottom line by picking up a few extras here and there.
9 Likes
They were going to beat him to death with his stolen shoe.
5 Likes
About half of them. It was attempted mass murder.
7 Likes
