Additional thoughts:
Only cut open ripe avocados.
I use a paring knife to cut a meridian around a ripe avocado, pole to pole. I almost never have trouble whacking a paring knife into the pit well enough to gently twist it out. Have never cut myself in 30 years of guacamole-making.
I’ll bet those Marks and Sparks pitless avocados taste like bleah.
You had a deprived childhood. I have early memories of my grandma giving me softboiled eggs and toast darts in an eggcup.
Have you met people?
There is no limit to what people can’t do.
Yeah, my first reaction was, “What kind of rock-hard avocados are these people getting, both that they regularly cut themselves and are touting the softness of this new variety?” Granted, I grow Bacons, and you can cut the skin with a spoon, but I can still use a butter knife with thicker skinned varieties, too.
Is it a stock broker? Is it a quantity surveyor? Is it a church warden?
No! It’s Avocado Slice Man!
Same here. When I was single, I used to cut it in half, and grab the pit with my teeth, then spit it into the trash. Now my wife says I can’t do that because she doesn’t want my germs in her mouth.
Boiled egg, egg cup, egg spoon. Boom, done.
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“Ich kann Fledermäuse mit einem Eierlöffel töten!” - Michael Palin, Monty Pythons fliegender Zirkus
Good. Avocados are the crabs of the fruit world - delicious but too much effort.
How the everloving f do people manage to cut themselves cutting an avocado?
I’m so with you on this. I live in Oregon, and it pains me to see people growing bananas that will never flower and palms that always look so sad that I literally refer to it as plant abuse.
If the avocado is ripe enough to be palatable, a gentle squeeze on the half with the seed pushes it out, and you turn it over and it drops into your waste container. I’ve never understood this silly knife thing.
Jeez, I eat boiled eggs out of egg cups with toast soldiers a couple times a week…!
Smooshing an avocado is OK if you’re making guacamole, less so if you’re slicing it up for a salad or a sandwich. Not all avocado is best served at the consistency of play-doh.
But then how do you two … oh, you poor man.
I know. It’s only difficult if the fruit is unripened and rubbery.
I think that would have also worked with the proper spelling… Haas. Wait a minute… my grocers (SoCal) sell as Haas, but… is it really Hass?
Annoying as heck, I bet 
But they could e.g. breed them to concentrate the seeds at one tip only. That would be relatively fair.
