Well, except that time I was doing a #2 buzzcut and the guard popped off the clipper in midstroke. I had to go to a barber and get a mohawk to fix that one.
True story: Last time I went to a barber, I said “I’m going to force my way into a corporate CEO’s office today and threaten him with legal action. Please give me a haircut that makes me look like the kind of wealthy lawyer who would cheerfully murder his own grandmother for a nickel of profit.” Apparently she did a good job, as several people told me I was absolutely terrifying in that haircut and a $300 suit. 
