I think you covered it pretty well. Yes, she’s all of this, all at once.
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Or as they say on teh interwebs…
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you mean like the goop lab netflix show poster with her standing in a giant vagina
You see - its like some wiseass photoshopped that, except that’s the real show poster.
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I got the ad for this which in big bold text says “A peak behind the scenes” (don’t recall which show it is for) but my peripheral vision wasn’t quite on point and my subconscious turned it into “curtains” and I was like “no wayyy” until the gestalt was shattered when i directly looked at it
Also, I’m sorry. True story though
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Hopefully she doesn’t get steam burns while she’s standing in there 
Or chased out by a giant Indiana Jones-style rolling Jade egg…
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Rich people scamming dumber rich people, who cares!
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If we knew the answer to that we’d be rich! 
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As before:
Ripping off stupid rich people is an ancient and honourable profession.
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I could save money by not buying the candle and hope one day for a free whiff at the real thing…
This is the Rome is Burning stage of capitalism.
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I thought I read something recently about her deciding to quit acting.
Clearly she has not. driving trollies at this level almost demands a prior career as a successful actor.
Yep. Needs a method actor to deliver it. (Not that she ever had a method, from what I recall.)
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I think what we have here is Paltrow’s Allegory of the Cave played out in real life.
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OK, its official. Her entire Goop catalog is merely an elaborate practical joke on a scale that would make Andy Kaufman green with envy beyond the grave.
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The best part of coming home for the holidays was when that relative (you know the one) talked about how she was leading a jade vag egg workshop and everyone at the table politely stifled their laughter.
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For me, the best part would be when everyone fell off their chairs in gales of tearful laughter and the said relative departed, red-faced, never to be seen again. Or, whenever she was seen in future, everyone kept making dumb egg jokes. But she’s not my relative, I guess. 
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I know way more about Gwyneth Paltrow’s cave than any disinterested person has any right to.
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Is everything named after Stephen Hawking these days? Hawking radiation, the Hawking index for unread books, the Hawking Medal for Science Communication… and now this?
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Being Gwynth Paltrow, a new movie where people enter a hidden passage behind a jewelry counter at Tiffany and Co. and end up inside of Paltrow’s body for a time only to be spit out of her vagina onto Santa Monica Blvd smelling like bee’s wax, jasmine rice and fresh baked vaginal yeast bread.
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Does “smells like my vagina” = chemtrails?
Asking for my own safety.
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