Gwyneth Paltrow's got a $75 "smells like my vagina" candle

boing
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I dunno… I feel this falls under the category of “smells I love, but don’t want a candle of”.

See also, KFC candles.

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What a time to be alive.

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It’s finger lickin’ good!™

sorry.

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All that time only able to say “Paltrow paltrow, paltrow” like some kind of insane parrot.

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INT: BALTIMORE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL, MAXIMUM SECURITY WING

DR. LECTER
Officer Starling. Sit. Please.

(Starling takes a seat facing Dr. Lecter’s cell)

DR. LECTER
Now then. What did Miggs say to you?

(she is puzzled)

DR. LECTER
“Multiple Migs,” in the next cell. He hissed at you, what did he say?

CLARICE
He said - “I can smell your c***.”

DR. LECTER
I see. I myself cannot. You use Evyan skin cream, and sometimes you wear L’Air du Temps, but not today.

STARLING
Actually that’s exactly what my vagina smells like. You see, I’ve been using this new line of personal products by Gwyeth Paltrow…

DR. LECTER
Guards! Get this psycho out of here!

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This is less Colonel Sanders and more Colonel Angus

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Michael Chabon suggested “cumin and salt pork and sawdust hot off the saw” in Wonder Boys.

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Her own products?

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Not if she has any sense…

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I think she has some sense, but has fallen prey to her own hype.

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Because that’s how the system has been rigged. Capitalism ftw.

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This was THE surprise item in the giveaway bags at the Golden Globes.

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You’ve smelled Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina? I sense a story behind this.

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Hellraiser Cucumber Water! LOL

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Dunno. Would it be better if she had a Stack Social store instead… :thinking:

It’s hard to know how much into the Goop store she is personally (or was before the Netflix Advertorial Series) vs. she has a professionally managed business that makes more money the more outrageous it is and grows towards the light money.

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For no particular reason here’s some Blind Boy Fuller.

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I read portions of Ars Technica’s review of the new Goop Netflix show (yeah, why is this a thing?) – which is supposed to be awful, btw, as one would expect, but like, not even done well – and apparently, Paltrow doesn’t actually know what a vagina is, despite the number of her company’s scammy awful products being aimed at the female genitals.

So I’m thinking, she really probably has as little sense as her association with Goop would imply.

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