Except for all of them. OK, they call it “volunteer,” but fail to volunteer and you’ve turned your back on $DEITY and will burn in $BAD_PLACE forever.
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There’s a point where quantitative differences become qualitative ones. Like the difference between volunteering to help with the church potluck and spending months reenacting Lord of The Flies while locked in the hole at Gold Base.
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can’t tell if that “$” is a variable indicator or a monetary symbol…maybe it doesn’t matter
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I think that they’re just using the symbol to convince gullible Christians that they can’t be all bad if they’re showing the cross. As anyone who’s been ripped off by a tradesperson who has the “Christian fish” in their ads can testify, they’re probably right.
I read that as “too many crooks”
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What’s interesting is the army of Internet trolls that are out there protecting Scientology. I quoted L Ron Hubbard saying “I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is.” and nothing egregious, on The Mail Online and received an email from the newspaper stating that my comment had been removed due to a barrage of complaints. That’s a pretty amazing response given that there are only 50,000 Scientologists worldwide (an estimate that contradicts the official pronouncement from Scientologists of 10 million.)
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I now have a new metaphor for really, really, really bad.
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Getting a truthful statement removed just because of readers complain is a rather bad thing. It puts readers’ comfort above improving their knowledge. Not good.
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You are probably only counting the human scientologists and forgetting to count the alien ghosts, common mistake! 
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The tricky bit is getting non-computers to read the statement and recognize the truth. Most of the time for newspapers the comment boards are automated and not moderated, given the massive amount of stories each with their own response threads.
You can get real people involved, but it’s generally not worth your time.
I’ve used $deity many times myself, but $bad_place is a new one. I think I shall try to make use of it in the future.
You must be the only human in years to quote the venerable Firesign. I bow to you.
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It’s surprising I don’t quote them more often here, considering how frequently in the real world I tell people I’m gonna cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute.
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You should probably learn more about the Church of Scientology, then!
They have their slave wage billion-year-contract “volunteers” perusing all social media. Probably have some spiders/trawlers looking for mentions of them.
Like the Lenny Bruce bit about what if Jesus was executed by electric chair - Would everyone walk around with little electric chairs hanging around their necks?
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Actually, odds are good that yes.
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