Here's a bunch of notes left on windshields of bad parkers

Originally published at:


Yeah, bad parkers are the worst.


I keep wanting to stock up on these… especially when I see the huge SUVs in the compact spots.


In the distant past I had cards I’d put on windshields stating, “You must be a hemorrhoid because you’re such a pain in the ass!”. I think that about sums it up.

These are cute, but I’ve never cared enough to write even the shortest note. Was I put here to be their teacher?

My favorite deterrent is I get a stack of parking violation envelopes from the local officials, and place the (empty) envelopes onto their windshield.

  • I get mine through the officer who pranks me by placing empties on my car, when I am on official town business with correct permit placards.

I’ve always enjoyed this one:

Related, yesterday I picked up a driving manual at the DMV as I have a 15 year old. I thought of grabbing a stack so I can throw them at people. But alas, righteous indignation isn’t worth the litter.


… that idea has merit.

(on a side note, outside of the rules for CDL drivers, is there such a thing as a national traffic code? inquiring minds want to know.)

A smudge of poop (dog variety or other) under the door handle is a nice deterrent as well. You can also give them bonus dookie under the trunk latch that they will likely discover at a later date.


When my wife was in college, driving a tank of a Ford Taurus, she came out to her car and found a pre-printed note with Mickey Mouse flipping the bird (like in the reddit post above), and a message below saying, “If you fuck like you park, it’s a wonder you ever get it in.” I’m not sure how close/far outside the line she was, but she worked for the campus police station and told her boss about it. Her boss reviewed the parking footage and said that it was some guy who just kept a huge stack of them in his glove box.

Unrelated to that incident, but also due to parking, shortly after we got married, we were living in an apartment. Each apartment had its own one-car garage, but some were detached from the buildings. Ours was one of the detached ones, and it was directly across the way from one of the attached garages, where, if you had one, you could park one car in the garage, and a second one in the bay outside without impeding traffic. However, the guy with that garage tried to park two cars in the bay, such that his big Texas-sized truck stuck out into the road and made me play an unsuccessful game of Car Tetris to get out of my garage. Irritated with him continuing to do this, I called the main office, and they had him towed. A week later, my wife and I were in the waiting room of a car repair place while waiting for them to do some service, and on the TV was a free legal advice call-in program on the local news. One caller said that he was wondering, if he was towed at an apartment complex, was he or the apartment responsible for the tow truck fee? After some questions, the lawyer determined that this guy was parked incorrectly (you know, with the back of his car preventing other residents from entering/exiting their garages), and that, sadly, he was responsible for the fee. Sorry.


I took pictures of it, and then forgot about it, but this reminds me I saw a brand new car taking up four parking places at a nearby GameStop. He was parked where the lines crossed.

I’ll see if I can find it (I take a lot of pictures).


I´m scared to ask if and why you always have some spare dookie with you.


I sometimes make one with three stick figure diagrams if I’m feeling peeved by some apparent lack of parking skill.

“This is your car. These are the lines. This is your car between the lines. Got it?”

I don’t always have spare poop on hand but with two dogs at home it is in abundance if needed.

A lot of people with new and/or luxury cars do it so they won’t get doored by other cars.

I fully understand the motivation for the action. That doesn’t excuse it in any way.

Why is their shit more important than anyone else’s shit? It’s selfish as fuck, especially in areas where parking is scarce. If someone can’t handle their car being in the real world, then they need to keep it off the streets and in a garage where it’s “safe”.

If I were the kind of guy that keyed cars, that kind of behavior would guarantee cars would be keyed. Especially that ass that took up four spaces. Fuck him in particular. (still haven’t found the photo)


I’ve been thinking that people should have to retake the written test every time they get their license renewed.

Oh, I wasn’t excusing it at all.

I don’t think so, we [U.S.] have national car safety standards and standardized road signs, but specific driving rules vary state to state. As an example, in California it is legal to do a “rolling stop” at a stop sign, but illegal in my state of Oregon. We also have widely varying rules about U-turns [allowed here unless prohibited, in many other places prohibited unless specifically allowed]. Rules about turning against red lights are variable, and motorcycle lane-splitting is legal in some areas.

Incidentally, here in Oregon we can’t pump our own gas, and until very recently our signs had to say “Speed” instead of “Speed Limit”. Those rules have now been relaxed slightly - we now pump in very rural areas and new signs say “Speed Limit”.

Is parking really that scarce where you live? It’s almost never scarce where I live, except for certain times at Costco, where overflow still can park conveniently.