How to become a professional certified Cryptid hunter

Originally published at: How to become a professional certified Cryptid hunter | Boing Boing

1 Like

How to become a professional certified Cryptid hunter

1: Tell a doctor that you are a Cryptid Hunter.
2: Have the Doctor point at you and laugh.
3: You have now been professionally recognized as a Cryptid Hunter!

7 Likes

There’s no money in that. Cryptids never carry more than 20 bucks on them.

4 Likes

Professional Cryptid Hunter? The word ‘certified’ here is not doing the job they think it is doing and it in fact involves medical professionals.

(Yeah, we both thought ‘doctors’ but in different ways.) :wink:

2 Likes

I had one come around the other day asking for $3.50. Makes sense.

4 Likes

“A great alternative to a diploma”

Where was this 35 years ago!?!
Why did I waste so much time at uni?!?

1 Like

+1 for The Weakerthans The Weakerthans - One Great City! - YouTube

1 Like

How to become a professional certified Cryptid hunter

Some while ago during an incredulous conversation about being a “certified pet masseuse” i was informed “The real deal is to become a certified pet masseuse certification agent!” (“I wanna know where one can go to certify granters of certification” Why, right here! just sixteen easy payments of $29.99)

3 Likes

Isn’t that partly what uni is for? I know I wasted a fair chunk of my time there.

1 Like
1 Like

Has any self-styled “Cryptid Hunter” ever actually succeeded in finding hard physical evidence of a cryptid?

2 Likes

Bigfoot Found

1 Like

‘How to become a professional certified Cryptid hunter’

How isn’t this already in the BoingBoing Store?

2 Likes

If hard physical evidence is found would it still be a cryptid?

That raises the possibility that these so-called hunters are tipping off Nessie et al whenever real scientists come around.

2 Likes

The creature that some cryptozoologists hold up as evidence that they aren’t off their rockers is the coelacanth, but that’s a helluva stretch since it basically got that label retroactively after its existence had been documented by scientists who previously believed the order of fish to be extinct.

1 Like

I predict a crossover.

1 Like

It’s incredibly simple, even kids can hunt fantastic animals.

pokemon GIF

1 Like

I hope they at least had extensive and repeated admonitions that humans are not Cryptids one should hunt, not even if you are sure your neighbor is a lizard person.

There’s also the saola which is believed to have been the basis for the “gilled deer” and which some cryptid-hunters point to as an example of a “real” cryptid, but since the real animal can’t breathe underwater like its imaginary counterpart that seems like an even greater stretch.

1 Like

Am I correct in assuming that actually catching a bona-fide cryptid is not a prerequisite for certification?

3 Likes