Tonight, at CBGB, for one night only, Anal Abraision!
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Why the heck are you people so adverse to just installing bidets or jumping into the shower and using water and soap to clean up your privates like the rest of the world?!
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“Pffft… I liked them before they got popular. Now they are so corporate. I saw them used in a Charmin ad.”
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“ In all seriousness, many of you can clean your butt with the water in the toilet using your hand, ”
No, I can’t. That’s what the help is for.
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There are guys who won’t wipe their ass for fear of being “turned Gay”; and now you are asking them to engage in wetplay?! The horror! The horror! 
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It sounds like something is rubbing these people up the wrong way.
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Make the shower heads black and golden with lightning decorations or something and rebrand it as hygienic hoses, "the manly and fast way of cleaning yourself because toilet paper is for [weak men synonym] ".
(Hmmm… I should patent this one…)
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Psyllium husk at night is way better.
hot water bidet attachments were $30 on boing boing at some point. I’ve had mine for years, very happy not needing TP. My guests over the years tho … so funny …
Guest: HEY THERE’S NO TP IN HERE!! …
me: “it’s the lever on your right” … hot to the right, cold to the left!
Guest: {squeals}
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some lady beat you to it…
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Dunno about you, but I consistently feel less clean if I don’t have access to a bidet. TP doesn’t really compare.
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That’s overkill lol
oh agreed. for the last couple years I have been asking every hotel to put me in the room with the japanese toilet or bidet. It worked … once. My campaign to put bidet on the airbnb filter list was a non-starter. Back home, they use a ‘designated’ water bottle as the portable bidet. It works when you’re among the barbarians.
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Glad to see someone appreciated the internet’s best nuclear power poop joke this month!
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Secretly they want to be rubbed the right way.
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Black “tactical” shower head with a pistol grip.
They’ll fly off the shelves!
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From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_hygiene, which I was reading to see how the jug thing worked…
Ancient Greeks were known to use fragments of ceramic known as pessoi to perform anal cleansing.
In ancient Japan, a wooden skewer known as chuugi was used for cleaning after defecation.
In Thailand, the “bum gun” is ubiquitous. This is just a shower head with a terrifying name.
In rural areas of developing countries or during camping trips, sticks, stones, leaves, corn cobs and similar are also used for anal cleansing. Corncobs? That just reunites with the corn on the way out.
I still don’t know how the jug works. But my ignorance is cosmopolitan.
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Jugs? That’s like the three-seashells, right?
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Er, maybe I just shat in it and don’t really fancy sticking my hand in there…
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