How to make a shiv with hard, dried fish


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Shits and giggles aside, I’d argue that if you have a mandoline good enough to shave katsuobushi, you already have a wicked sharp blade, and probably don’t need to make a fish blade…

Also, the price of a big enough piece… You could make dozens of steel blades for the same $$$.

(debbie downer away!!!)


The more hardened inmates really have their knives out for the fresh fish with this one.


So what is the TSA going to do about this? Hire sniffing cats to serve at every checkpoint?


Knowing the TSA: ban canned tuna, caesar salad, and that jesus fish icon.


But gutting your enemy like you were harvesting roe with a knife made of dried tuna? Priceless.


Wasn’t there this thing about stabbing a man with a blade made of ice, which then melts and eliminates the evidence? Like that! Except it doesn’t melt. Instead an old Japanese guy comes along and makes udon broth out of it.


That’s not a knife…

(Copyright Pierre Jaquet,



Who’s hiring?


There was a Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode where a wife kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb and then later serves it to the police investigating the murder.




I’m pretty sure I’ve had some bagels stale enough to do this.


But did it go through him faster than a nun’s first curry?


That’s the unkindest cut of all.


A mandolin slicer would never do it. It’s got the wrong blade profile and angle, it would bind and blunt within a few strokes.

That’s a Japanese Woodworking plane - it’s a quality, hardened tool-steel blade in a slotted wooden block. The only difference is that this chappy has flipped it upside down, and stuck it in a box, so that he can move the bonito rather than the tool.


Which was originally a Roald Dahl story:

Roald Dahl’s stuff for adults is creepy.


Let’s not forget, Lew Zealand has perfected the art of boomerang fish for long-range hunting. You could then use your fish-shiv for close combat.


You cam make your own katsuobushi.

And really good carbon steel alloys aren’t exactly cheap…

Though you can get 1095 blanks for cheap.

That said, I doubt katsuobushi can be given as sharp an edge as steel simply because of the differences in molecular composition.

This definitely falls into the category of just for fun, not because it’s cost effective.


If you stab someone to death with a large pointy bird you can open the window and let it fly away afterwards.

I give you this valuable information free of charge, you know, because I’m generous that way.