How to make your own "Black Water" and why you probably shouldn't

I know that the “alkaline diet” is a big fad right now, and that as such there will be lots of goofy products and in turn a lot of mockery, but I can assure you that, in my experience, there is a lot of validity in “going alkaline,” at least for certain people such as myself. Having just spent the last year trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me, and finally discovering that it was a buildup of acidity in my tissue and a messed up lymphatic system (I don’t know if one came before the other, but stress and diet certainly contributed to it all) I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have finally figured it out.
I say this as someone who used to think the alkaline/acidity thing was flakey nonsense.

What if I wanted to make my own 2H2O Heavy Water? I want my water to have some umami, damnit.

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Actually, “black water” is urine containing hemoglobin and/or dead blood cells. Blackwater fever was one of the first iatrogenic diseases to be identified: colonial types would drink lots of quinine to prevent (or mitigate the symptoms of) malaria, but at a certain point quinine itself causes blood cells to rupture, turning the “water black”. Naturally, the cure is more quinine - right?

Of course, the fact that quinine was processed into tonic water and drunk with gin in heroic quantities didn’t help…

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The term Blackwater has a pretty hefty disambiguation page. As far as two word phrases go it’s fairly evocative so it means a lot of things.

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Of course humic acid is mostly present in humus, which is basically topsoil. (not at all the same thing as hummus) It is not to say that this is the same as water with dirt added any more than urea would mean that pee was added. But you could argue that this is water with the purified essence of dirt added.

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Maybe use some Pons and Fleishman’s yeast. “That Terrific Tritium Taste!”

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off topic, but that video. Are they lip-synching? I mean, at that time there would have been lots of big microphones and wires, right? Is that why they’re making such funny facial expressions, because they’re just going through the motions?

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