How to stop a wedding


#1

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#2

I'm optimistic the tactic in Method 1, Step 8 will be successful for the woman on the right, though I'm a little surprised the other people are enjoying it so much.


#3

The warnings are well worth your time too.

''Your 'beloved' may hate you.''


#4

This is pure gold. I love the stinger at the end:

"Someone who is likely to walk from a wedding may be afraid of commitment, and insecure in relationships. This could pose problems for your relationship."


#5

This and "Have a taxi waiting" are amazing.


#8


#9

It takes a very big internet to produce material like this for us all to enjoy.


#10

I'm kinda disappointed that "orbital nuclear strike" was not listed as a "during" option.

It is, after all, the only way to be sure.


#11

"Share". Nice try Rob, my sister-in-law is getting married tomorrow and this could look very interesting on my Facebook feed.


#12

I hear drones are all the rage these days.


#13

This article would not be complete without the illustrations..


#14

Waitaminute, that's not Dustin Hoffman! This is Dustin Hoffman!


#15

There's always the Kill Bill method.


#16

And the Andrew Garfield on SNL method (with apologies to those outside the US who are IP blocked):

www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/wedding/2779229#i


#17

I must admit that the ads this article has attracted are wonderfully clueless


#18

No! Bad!


#19

I'm either ashamed or proud to admit that I did not realize that the scene in Wayne's World 2 was a parody of The Graduate.


#20

We can be confident that the advice in this article will not deter the true wedding caller-offer.


#21

One of those pieces of good advice that you hope you never need.


#22

Self-castration with a pair of scissors is also worth trying.

Has anyone here been to a wedding where someone has objected? I have clergy relatives who have conducted hundreds of weddings, and have been to dozens myself, but have never heard of this actually happening.