Velociraptors and T-Rexes probably had feathers. So think ostriches or chickens from hell.
5 Likes
Joe Lansdale’s new novel, Big Lizard, features a demonic giant serial killer chicken that drives a sports car. A chicken from hell, if you will.
7 Likes
I love Joe Lansdale. Just finished Hap and Leonard novels. Gonna check it out.
3 Likes
The plot is impossible to summarize.
3 Likes
Ostrich owner: Now this is a knife!
9 Likes
Even better. To the Amazons!
2 Likes
Camels. Those things are dangerous and unpredictable.
3 Likes
We have a local trick which is easy and requires no skills whatsoever: Live on a different continent 
8 Likes
Step 0: do not be anywhere near an ostrich in the first place.
6 Likes
Run for nearby cover. Expect ostriches to attain speeds of 43 mph (70 km) over open ground.
If there is dense woods or vegetation close enough for you to reach before the ostrich touches you, sprint for that.
Prevent the ostrich from attaining optimum speed so it has less chance of outrunning you.
3 Likes
Ostriches travel in medium to large herds. Saw them in Ethiopia on the other side of, as @Papasan said, an eight foot fence.
Mean birds. They’ll kick you just to watch you hemorrhage on the inside.
6 Likes
Fuzzy-wuzzy bunny wabbits. Got big nasty scars from where mine bit me. (In their defense, they were trying to murder each other, not me, I just broke up the fight and wound up with one latched deep into my palm, a foot off the ground.
(Scar contemplates murder)
6 Likes
I’m surprised this isn’t already in place for this thread
8 Likes
Some years ago I went to a wildlife park in Australia where they had crocs (salties), and I learnt that they can whip their head round in a fraction of a second if they want. And kangaroos, which are bigger than you think, and could probably fuck you right up, but these ones were pretty chill (they weren’t fenced, they were just wandering around on the paths).
But the animal that scared me the most was the cassowarys. As people up thread have pointed out, they’re basically dinosaurs, and believe me, when one’s stood in front of you, looking you straight in the eye (they’re small than an ostrich, but still human height), and you look down and see their talons, you know that they’re dinosaurs, and that if it wasn’t for the fence your guts could be dangling from the bushes in an instant.
4 Likes
I’ve also heard that these birds are straight up vicious and are best handled with extreme caution (if at all).
1 Like
Holy crap, ostriches are TERRIFYING up close and personal. Here in Texas, there are “safari” drive-through parks with various animals including these non-flying terror dinosaurs. Sitting in my vehicle at eye level with one of these guys pecking HARD at your car window is a scary experience!
This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.
