How will Sarah Palin fund her lavish lifestyle as her PAC cash dwindles?

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“He who warned the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, by ringing those bells, and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free.”

When that intellectual genius Palin said that undecipherable mess the TeaBaggers defended it as History, that should tell you what you need to know…

Only the crazy speak like this!

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Sarah Palin pays a speechwriter?

The jokes write themselves. Begin now.

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She still commands silly high speaking fees, for some reason, so I’m sure she will personally be fine, even if the PAC folds.

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Pay me first.

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Running to fail is a profitable occupation in America.

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Given the amount she spends on speechwriters the problem would perhaps seem to be with her reading the autocue. New glasses? With British politicians when they talk like this, it’s usually because they are wearing beer (well, more likely whisky or brandy) goggles.

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Who are we kidding? The right has a far-flung network of think-tanks any one of which has a desk ready with her name on it. The thinking part is optional.

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That’s 100% true. There wouldn’t be 19-candidates-and-counting vying for the GOP ticket if it weren’t for the fact that also-rans can land lucrative book deals and stints on the Fox News Channel.

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I believe she hired this speechwriter:

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Or, given the recent news, coked off their tits and receiving a blow job behind the lectern. Annoyingly, he’s handily disappeared the story about the papers found detailing the security service’s role in covering up decades of paedophilia by MPs. Convenient, no?

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Sarah Palin proposed building more reservoirs to end the California drought, so if she’s running out of money, I’m surprised she hasn’t proposed building more banks.

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No, that’s what the speechwriters were for.

Donald Trump says Sarah Palin is a “really special person” who would be great on his presidential cabinet

Oh, god. That would explode some heads on both sides of the aisle…

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Trump / Palin. Now there’s a dream ticket.

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She only needs to trust in God and the founding fathers to keep her on her mission promoting freedom to keep the Russians and ISIS at bay from our great land with help from Socker Moms and Real Americans knowing the Constitution is giving them the bell-ringing spirit of 1776 and the light of Ronald Reagan . . .

{PAUSES TO READ HAND}

. . . Lipstick.

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Perhaps she can inspire grassroots movements and people all over the nation to support her in lieu of corrupt Super PACs?

Nah, there’s only one candidate that’s doing that and that’s Bernie Sanders.

UPDATE: Good morning. As of 10:22 AM Colorado time we are now up to 100,196 people. Yes, that’s over one hundred thousand people.

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The signs of the Idiocralypse are all there!
Somebody just needs to get her to say that plants crave electrolytes.

Edit: If Trump mentions Nugent, I’m heading to Canada.

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Maybe a fancy pageant walking school?

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Yeah, but still, there are limits. This is Palin we’re talking about. Also I can’t really see her in that role because ultimately what she wants is money and fame. She wants to be a celebrity, not a policy wonk, even if she doesn’t actually have to do any work. Running a chain of used car dealerships seems more her speed…

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This is a Tea Party maven…i think you mean mattresses…

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