I have so many questions about this new video game where you play as Jesus

Well I’m not going to post spoilers about the twist ending.

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"Nailed it’

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

My sick humour aside, yeah- Jesus, if he existed, was most definitely dark olive skinned, with dark hair.

Im not sure if this disturbs me more than the Donald Trump children’s book I saw yesterday or not. That is sickening indoctrination filth aimed at weaponizing the thoughts of kids.

I added my own bookends in barnes and noble. Use books to fight books.

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This whole thread is comedy gold. Jesus as a wrestling simulator.

I am out of words for this that’s how hard I am laughing

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I’ll be turning water to wine all game.

But this:

one of the most privileged and powerful people in the world

Are they setting up privilege as a Christian trait? And that really isn’t the story, is it?
I mean, I guess he had a powerful father to fall back on.

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Will the game have custom skins?

TrumpDoom

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Don’t forget about this masterpiece:

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Because that doesn’t actually work:

https://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/ptech/02/17/polaroid.warns.reut/

If you were an omniscient deity, you would know that.

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“Convert the heathens!”

587160

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Oh I just winged him so he is a Unitarian now

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So he’s the healer. Which of the apostles will tank this one? How many of them are DPS, and which ones are ranged/melee?

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Waiting until the dinosaur extension pack comes out…

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Exactly what I was thinking of. See also Mr. Cobbett’s fine writeup:

And:

But if you’ve only got a minute or so:

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Took me three solid days to beat the final level.

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It was hell.

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One of the fight scenes?

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I dunno why, but religion always seems to serve as a real font of terrible games. One of my favorite Twitch streams (Watch+Play) actually spun out of Graham and Alex from LoadingReadyRun playing a religious game called Prayer Warriors, which—apart from being made in the Doom engine—pretty much defies explanation.

It’s good to see that if they ever decide to return to their roots with the show after exhausting the rest of Steam’s trash pit, this will (hopefully) be waiting for them.

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I kept waiting for Jesus to do “jazz hands.”

It’s definitely fake. (In the sense of being a series of pre-rendered animations, not footage captured from a game-in-development.) The question is whether they intend to (try to) make and sell an actual game, or this is just some sort of weird trolling.

“Screw you, hog farmer!”

I mean, a Jesus simulator where you just go around fucking with various farmers would be entirely Biblically accurate… hog farmers, fig growers…

I can’t tell if all the blurbs are being written by someone who speaks English as a second language (and not that well), or if it’s an indicator this is just trolling.

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:flushed:. had no idea this exists. comparison to antisemitic children books of the 30 and 40s are indispensable

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Also, does the basic game come with the bluetooth crown of thorns, or is that only available when bundled with the console?

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