And that’s why eight people won the last Spelling Bee.
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Peter is good with a sword, but Jesus just runs in and heals anyone he attacks.
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I’m waiting for The Texorcist to go on sale (at which point I will spend years gazing at it contemplatively in my backlog).
Reckon you have to get either really good at either typing with one hand, or at manipulating a joystick with your feet. Not often you say that about a game.
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Worst Leeroy Jenkins evah!
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Can we play as baby Jesus?
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The prequel gospels got retconned to “Bible Legends” status after Disney bought the franchise.
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- (1) Now I stood stupefied and marveling, and fear gripped me; for I was looking upon the astounding clarity of the brightness that was born. But that light, little by little withdrawing into itself, assimilated itself to the child, and in a moment the child came to be as children are normally born.17
(2) And I put on boldness and bent down and touched him, and lifted him
up in my hands with great fear, and I was frightened because there was no weight in him as of a newborn person. (3) And I inspected him, and there was no defilement in him,18 but it was as if he was bathed in the dew of God Most High, shining in his body, light to carry, and brilliant to look at. And while I was greatly amazed that he was not crying, as newborn children normally do, (4) and while I held him looking into his face, he smiled at me with a most pleasant smile, and opening his eyes he gazed at me intently; and immediately a great light came forth from his eyes like a great lightning.”
Latin Infancy Gospels aka J Composition
(1) While the Jews were giving Zachaeus advice, the child laughed aloud and said, “Now let what is yours bear fruit, and led the blind in heart see. I have come from above to curse them and call them to the realm above, just as the one who sent me for your sake commanded.” (2) When the child stopped speaking, immediately all those who had fallen under his curse were healed. No one dared to anger him from that time on, fearing that he might cripple them with a curse.
…
(1) When Joseph observed the mind of the child and his age, and saw that he was starting to mature, he again resolved that he should not be unable to read, and so took him out and gave him over to another teacher. The teacher said to Joseph, “First I will teach him to read Greek, and then Hebrew.” For the teacher knew of the child’s learning and was afraid of him. Nonetheless, he wrote out the alphabet and practiced it for him for a long time; but the child gave him no response. (2) Then Jesus said to him, “If you are really a teacher and know the letters well, tell me the power of the Alpha, and I will tell you the power of the Beta.” The teacher was aggravated and struck him on the head. The child was hurt and cursed him; and immediately he fainted and fell to the ground on his face. (3) The child returned to Joseph’s house. Joseph was smitten with grief and ordered his mother, “Do not let him out the door; for those who anger him die.”
Infancy Gospel of Thomas
(Translations from Bart D. Ehrman and Zlatko Pleše. (2011) The Apocryphal Gospels Texts and Translations.)
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This is oddly tempting, but how do I Save my game?
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Will Biff make an appearance?
Why did I not think of this earlier. If you haven’t read it run to your library or bookstore now.
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This looks like fun for the play testers:
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I had to read it when I saw it I thought it was just a joke.
It was seriously trying to teach children Donald Trump is okay. And it massively misrepresents everything he’s actually doing, and to warp kids’ minds.
If there is a hell- theres a special place it it for that author. Not for writing a shitty book- but for trying to indoctrinate children into his evils.
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Thou shall not mess with the messiah.
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The eighth circle of Hell I believe
Bolgia 9 – Sowers of Discord : In the Ninth Bolgia, the Sowers of Discord are hacked and mutilated for all eternity by a large demon wielding a bloody sword; their bodies are divided as, in life, their sin was to tear apart what God had intended to be united;[92] these are the sinners who are “ready to rip up the whole fabric of society to gratify a sectional egotism”.[93] The souls must drag their ruined bodies around the ditch, their wounds healing in the course of the circuit, only to have the demon tear them apart anew. These are divided into three categories: (i) religious schism and discord, (ii) civil strife and political discord, and (iii) family disunion, or discord between kinsmen.
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I meant it more figuratively but I honestly wonder how people can subscribe to such ridiculous beliefs.
I don’t know how it is even conceivable that someone living could know this information even if it were true.
The Bible like every other “holy” book was written by living people with no direct knowledge of anything after this life. When something is written by living people there is no way they have any right to claim truth about something they have no knowledge of.
This singly is the specific reason I am not religious and why I find the whole thing’s ridiculous. I understand and can sympathize with people who feel the need to believe in something, there’s nothing wrong with that, until they start creating laws that affect other people based on their superstition. It’s a natural biological human need to psychologically fill that gap, but I will not personally buy into superstition.
I don’t consider my views superior, only rational.
Do any of the apostles ride dinosaurs in this? Because I want to see all 12 simultaneously riding one of those suckers.
With machine guns…
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That’s silly!
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Exactly, biblical dinosaurs all had mounted lasers, not machine guns.
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