I like this Instagram feed of handwritten, passive aggressive parking notes

How is it when someone parks next to you they think 3 inches of space on the driver door is enough. But when you are waiting for a car to pull out in a parking lot so you can take the spot, the person starts to back up then hits their breaks if anything gets withing 12 feet of their back pumper. Then they backup another inch and slam on their breaks again sure they are about to crash into the vehicle parked in the next row behind them.

You try to give the person some encouraging words under your breath but they eventually devolve into a stream of obscenities. :persevere:

That was pretty much the phrasing. There’s another with the same words (maybe one or two different) at the linked page. No doubt the guy (either a guy or he delegated it to his eight-year-old) didn’t have a premade one handy, but knew the exact phrasing for some reason. Maybe he got one once.

That could be. My sister gave me that specific card in the 80s when I was a kid (hur hur bad words and Mickey Mouse flipping the bird) and I somehow to not lose it after all these years. No idea where it came from originally.

A few years ago I had a paid parking spot right in the middle of a busy area of Boston. It was an amazing spot a few feet from my work and I was really lucky to get it as quickly as I did. One day both the gate broke, and I drove a different car than I usually drive, and someone was parked in my spot. I called the parking lot manager and he explained that someone had parked in a different spot, a paid person parked in my spot, and since they towed the unauthorized person, I just should park in the other spot (sorry if that’s hard to follow). No biggie I thought. I come out after working late and find a whole series of passive aggressive post it notes on my window warning me to not park in that spot again. The next day I taped all the notes to a piece of paper and put it on the other person’s car and explained that if she was the one who wrote the notes that she shouldn’t park in MY spot either. That got me a visit from the parking lot manager…I guess she was freaked out that someone replied to her note. Since I drove a different car, she didn’t recognise my car and thought I would just disappear.

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xkcd 562: “Parking”

Alt Text: “Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.”

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People don’t understand what ‘passive aggressive’ means. If you send a co-worker an email asking her to do something and she reads the email but never replies and never does what you asked her to do, that’s passive aggressive. These notes are aggressive-aggressive

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One time I came out of a grocery store, and two dude bro programmers were sitting on my car (next to an empty bench). I remotely activated the alarm via my key fob, and they fell to the ground. As I approached I shrugged and said, “hey, sometimes sitting on other people’s cars causes an alarm to go off. Try the bench, I hear it’s lovely”.

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Speaking of assholes…

The “protected by VIPER” is voiced by supreme asshole/congresscritter Darryl Issa.

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That makes the customization feature even better!

I prefer things like this:


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I always leave notes that just say “Well, bless your heart” and let them figure it out for themselves.

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One time I was driving a 16’ uhaul, and had to stop at a bed bath and beyond for some reason. The parking lot was magnificently empty, so the mischevious part of me asked, “how many spots can I take?”. Mind you I did this like half a mile away from the store in a sea of unbroken asphalt.

Six. I managed to wedge into six spots at the same time with a sixteen footer.

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