Maybe the books don’t use Biblical pi?
1 Kings 7:23
He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.
Honestly, I expect that there are Republicans who believe that is the truth and that all mathematics is a satanic lie.
“I have in my hand more cash from some textbook companies than from others.”
The darkest timeline has made it really hard to do satire.
I just put it together in my brain:
The Christian Bible is filled with “CRT”, according to these fearmongers. Not a single white person in the entire book.
I’ve got to figure out how to drop that into conversations…preferably without getting attacked.
I wouldn’t rule it out. They are attacking democracy in the open, but one of their classic tools is lying about woke outrages. It isn’t a leap from Republican lies about abortion or litter boxes to textbooks.
Oh no, no, Hebrews were white until the death of Christ and Romans were white until the fall of the Empire. Why else would people have bothered writing so many histories about them?
… Over the past few months, certain conservatives have zeroed in on SEL as another Trojan horse for progressive ideology — “the latest child-indoctrination scheme,” as the self-appointed “Child Protection League” puts it, per the Post . For context, the Child Protection League describes itself as a group that, among other things, encourages children to “freely express their political beliefs, moral standards, and faith” in schools and “experience personal, physical privacy and modesty in bathrooms, showers, locker rooms, and living spaces separated by biological sex,” if that gives you a sense of where this is going…
Or Black fonts, Black print, and B/W photos. I think the mildew and rust get into their brains and that mosquitoes are spreading contagious dumbass.
Heck, π isn’t just irrational, it’s transcendental*. And the idea that anything but the God of Abraham could be transcendental is anathema.
*It can’t be represented as the root of a polynomial equation, and the roots of polynomials are countable.
Litter boxes?
What did I miss? They’re against house-training cats, now???
Someone tried to stoke a moral panic over furries, but did not understand furry culture.
Thanks. And also, OMG! 
The only thing I could think of was they were getting all annoyed that libruls are aware of the dangers of cleaning cat litter boxes for pregnant women, which seemed like a stretch, but I wouldn’t put it past them.
GQP Official Math Exam 2022
Question:
How is the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle defined.
Answers:
By Gods will.
I dunno I honestly believe they probably threw oblique bullshit references to “crt” into reasons for rejecting books just to hype the moral outrage and advance their moral agenda which just amounts to racism and hating gays. But they gotta look like they’re protecting kids to keep the hero narrative in the headlines so… Make some shit up to justify rejecting some textbooks most of which probably would have been rejected anyway. It’s not deep or smart, it’s just low and self-serving manipulative assholes, 24/7 news outrage, and emergent behavior. I hate everything.
Everything. I didn’t wanna live through two goddamned satanic panics y’all but here we are.
Right wingers be like, “something something two genders!”
They’ve been mixing up their bad jokes and reality for a while.
“It was just something I felt that if this really was happening, we needed to address it and address it quickly,” Bostelman said.
I feel the same way about him abusing his wife. 
But also, egads, these fools are so effing gullible.
If this identity makes me uncomfortable, I can only imagine what it does to Florida politicians.
It’s funny that you were aiming for a joke and still gave them too much credit. Your facts section contains one of the dangerous topics for a longstanding and very vocal segment of American conservatism. Ever since around Cantor and Hilbert there’s a giant hatred of mathematics in parts of the Evangelical community. Set theory in particular has been covered here before What do Christian fundamentalists have against set theory? | Boing Boing One of the largest publishers of homeschooling material has long advertised their books as being free of harmful modern ideas like set theory.
