Got a lot on my mind about writing but it boils down to ‘my confidence is gone’ and the one way i know to get past it is also hard as hell since it’s just ‘suck it up motherfucker and DO. stop caring if it’ll suck or that nobody will give a shit and do.’
Goes hand in hand with ‘there is no writer’s block. There is just you not wanting to do anything unless it turns out perfect from the start, which is impossible.’
Well that and the fact I recognize I don’t people well (regulars will understand this quite well especially after the past few days.) That is a hilariously under-stated thing. If I don’t people well how can I write a thing that depends on believable people interactions? Yea fine I get it, on page the reader fills in a lot of the gaps outside of story but it’s… This is the biggest hurdle i have outside of ‘just bloody do it.’
I’m less concerned about the fact every time I have an idea, Doctorw’s already done it better, or someone else has an example on hand that takes it in phenominal directions, or whatever. Nothing New Under the Sun is a thing. It’s…
I like writing, but I hate the idea that the most it’ll ever be is ‘write for you’ because to me I see ‘write for you’ is just self congratulatory wanking at how awesome you are.
Contrast with someone I’ve kept in contact with for close to twenty years who writes absolute garbage, Poor sentence structure, even worse character handling, and this annoying as hell habit of ‘person does thing, ‘dialog’ said person’ everywhere.
And yet they absolutely love writing and get lost in it in spite of the fact they haven’t gotten better in the entire time I’ve known them.
I’ve done the whole NaNoWriMo thing, even ‘won’ a few years. There’s just also the whole 'I never feel like i have time to sit down and write, except i have nothing but time, except most of the time when I sit down I don’t want to do anything.
There’s no question or anything for the crowd, just a case of ‘I’m talking and maybe if the peanut gallary wants to chime in awesome because I’m trying to sort my mind out.’