I don’t think I’ve ever been called “hon” by a male… When I lived in the states I got called “hon” a lot by older women, often waitresses or people doing things for me. I wasn’t offended.
Everything is context of course.
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I think there’s something to this - it’s not the particular problems these folks face, it’s the framework they use for thinking about their problems. As explained lucidly in the Contrapoints vid, they’re “catastrophizing”, and using motivated reasoning to end up blaming feminism and the left for everything wrong in their lives.
But I do think the urge for sex and intimacy is very much tied up in the incel worldview. A young man in our society who feels like they will never enjoy sex or intimacy will almost always experience that as a major crisis, regardless of whether they’re a “problematic person”. It’s that state of crisis which provides the anchor for the incel worldview. Any time they try to question or doubt the convoluted and toxic philosophy, they return to the undeniable fact that they really want to fuck and they aren’t fucking: i.e. something is deeply wrong and it seems nobody can fix it.
I dunno, maybe it’s a chicken-or-egg problem. Sort of like the question of whether unemployment produces fascism.
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Well based on my experience and my observation as a kid (ETA and of my kid)… it seems early on most kids sorta segregate into genders for a lot of in school and after school activities. This of course varies, obviously there are many activities that are more co-ed and school is co-ed. But a lot of times at recess they seem to split that way.
But I’d argue those interactions reach a different level and dynamic as puberty hits. I think most kids, even today, learn how to interact with each other. It is just clear there is a segment failing at this. And I think they are compounding their issues with their behavior.
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I do, and I did, thanks!
Just got back; I had a really good time.
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I don’t know if I agree with that. There’s quite a bit of data that shows men are 2x or more interested in sex than women. There is interest, yes, for sure, but it is not proportionate interest. So you got dudes in the fast lane driving really quickly next to slower lanes of traffic, which leads to… er… accidents.
(It is an open question which side is on the wrong side of proportionate, of course.)
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I wouldn’t say that it excuses bad behavior on the part of men (and I don’t think that’s what you’re saying, for the record) but between the testimony of trans people coming on and off hormones and my own set of experiences, I think sometimes people miss that there’s a physiological urgency there that needs to be constantly managed until it kind of goes away because of age-related or other physiological changes. You can’t just be a higher being and decide to be unaffected by it, unless it already doesn’t affect you.
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There have been several studies of reproductive ealth by the CDC in the USA. Wile the number of virgins is low and decrease steadily with age (obviously), the number of people not having had a partner in the past 12 months is more interesting. Excluding young adults before 20, that number is about 10% (men and women). Projected on the US population that amounts to many people who have rarely sex if ever.
Of course, there are several reasons for not having had a partner in a year. Still, a sizeable proportion is probably unhappy about their situation.
I suppose that “incels” are recruited in that vast population. Considering the numbers, I am actually surprised that there aren’t many more of them.
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I haven’t (and won’t) check out their Reddit, but I’m guessing that the Venn diagram of “incels” to GamerGaters is one big blue circle.
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@AndreStmaur I think most people have plenty of other social outlets, and strong social norms against the sort of unbridled hatred of others and self. {shrug}
I agree with @reactionabe - as much as we praise ourselves for being self determining ordinates, there is so much clockwork orange like hormone driven behavior in our undercurrents.
But like most hate groups, having an echo chamber of similar minds and a charismatic leader seems like it can take someone borderline and just lead them down a path that is pretty disconnected from consensus reality.
It seemed like pockets of these used to be based on geographic isolation, so you would think broader communications could solve that, but now we can just hide away from the rest of the world and pipe in only the channel we want to hear. People are so weird and amazing.
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Some things I can only watch with the right frame of mind. I’m not sure when I’ll have that frame of mind to watch this.
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My son is an awkward 14 year old. I constantly monitor incel activity online to make sure he doesn’t fall into that pit of despair. Like you, I skated around that same edge, and I’m sometimes still in awe that I’ve been a socially healthy guy for most of my life.
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To be fair that still isn’t guaranteed to get you laid, but a big part of “not being a misogynist asshole” is coming to grips with the realization that society doesn’t OWE you a guarantee of getting laid regardless of how you conduct yourself.
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That’s why I’m starting my new program to help incels support each other.
A dating site - incels4incels.us.
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Dude. It’s like you’ve never even seen a Cosmopolitan magazine cover.
Or lurked in a women-only thread like I, uh, heard that someone did. 
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Yeah…
Many women are very interested in sex… we’re just not interested in being demonized and persecuted merely for having said interest.
So the ‘data available’ is probably highly unreliable.
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Um, it means that you’re a mess at passing as a woman.
Just so we’re clear.
Psst… I learned that in the second video.
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Wow, checking in on the boingz after your date?
I guess I would, if I dated.
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“Easy answers “PROVEN BY SCIENCE””
Yeah, I usually don’t buy those.
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This. The waitresses at the local “kitchen”, what a lot of places would call a diner, call everyone hun or honey, sometimes sweetheart. Mostly they are women over 60, but I’ve had young women do it too. Locally it is just a cultral thing
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