A solution suggests itself.
6 Likes
The second coming is a disappointment and there’s no happy ending.
Similar business model…
14 Likes
More lube at churches?
2 Likes
No. Too many kids get fucked in church already.
10 Likes
ach, Damn murderers. I was just warming up to them too and they go and ruin misogyny. /s
3 Likes
ITT: Incel pickup lines
4 Likes
I guess I’m really old now guys; I knew about incels, but didn’t know erotic spas even existed. So like, what, topless towel attendants? Either way, this is very sad and I’m struggling to understand the mindset that results in these kinds of actions.
He said “When did misogyny become a bad word?” and while I would agree that it is a perfectly good word used to describe a bad, er state of mind, I guess, the context read to me as it used to be OK, indeed respectable to be a misogynist till the bad people co-opted it. Your point is he meant that why don’t we just call them misogynists, rather then incels? I guess that could be true and somewhat less repugnant. Still not exactly a useful point, is it? I mean incels is what they call themselves. I don’t think people are shying away from calling this guy a misogynist. Incel is a bit more specific.
7 Likes
Not everybody grows up in a home suitable for entertaining (for oh so many possible reasons). Not everybody grows up in a community overflowing with social opportunities otherwise. Some kids’ peer group can be loosely described as “other pariahs,” literally a clade of exclusion. And teenagers’ opportunities to improve their living situations are remarkably few.
I really do appreciate what you and others working this point are trying to accomplish. It really does get better in the long run, and the biggest lesson a lot of these socially excluded kids need is that there’s nothing wrong with them apart from spending their entire childhoods having it beaten into their heads (often literally) that there’s something wrong with them. But this response is every bit as dismissive, privileged and out-of-touch as Andy telling Opie that all bullies are “cowards” and all he has to do is take one solid swing at his bully and everything will be fine forever. The set of kids that works for is not a good overlap with the set of kids who get bullied. Opie was fully able physically, of normal size for his age, coordinated and strong enough to deliver a credible punch, and living in a community where he wouldn’t get perversely punished more for defending himself than his tormentor does for the torment. Opie was facing one narratively-constructed lonely kid who just didn’t know how to make friends, not a cruel mob that regularly kicks the shit out of him just for fun. Some kids legitimately are weaker and more vulnerable than the rest, and the unintended message of the classic Andy Griffith advice is that those kids deserve what they get for not being able to take care of business in an appropriately American tough-guy way that doesn’t trouble any adult authority figures to exercise their authority.
Likewise, “how hard is it for teenagers to make friends” is a naive, survivor-biased question: only those for whom the answer was “not at all hard” would think to ask it, and that’s far from everyone’s experience. Childhood is not for everyone the time of magical self-discovery and adventure many people seem to remember so fondly. Telling those kids that “all they have to do” is suck it up and be normal just hammers home the fact that they aren’t and don’t have a viable path to become so. “All you need to do is effortlessly conform to my idea of what a healthy childhood looks like because that would make me a lot more comfortable” positions you on the side of the problem, not a solution.
Please don’t say shit like this to actual kids.
26 Likes
THIS! Thank you!
3 Likes
Maybe not what I remember either, but certainly what it felt like. Things felt like they were worse than they were, which made the awkwardness worse.
And how hard it is to connect with a peer group when you’re a teenager strongly depends on where you are. If you’re an ordinary white guy, it’s easier to find a peer group as a teenager than as a 40 something year old divorced man, yes. But if you’re visibly neurodivergent, minority, and/or LGBTQ growing up in some redneck backwater, it’s damn near impossible and you’ll be way happier later in life when you actually have more agency.
Yes, absolutely this!
Yeah that seems a little off. There were a fair number who didn’t date for whatever reason, but most dated, for varying values of “dated”.
Note: taking matters into your own hand is not a proper substitute for dating.
Seriously, that is a good point. Women are trained to socialize and to be friendly whether or not it’s genuine, so this is second nature to most women, if not first nature. Men, on the other hand… You can put two men together who grew up on the same block years apart, went into the same very niche career, and met at a mixer for an oddball hobby that they and like five other people care about, and they’ll just stare at each other’s shoes and go "ummm… yeah.
11 Likes
Look though. Sometimes there is something wrong with some one that makes it harder socially. Sometimes people
do need to change and work on themselves to find friends because the way they act around people and treat people is not good. I feel like these threads get so bogged down in self pity projected onto murderers. Do YOU want to be alone with a guy like this? Why the fuck would a teenage girl and why should she have to? Sorry but sometimes people don’t like us because we need to improve ourselves too. That is just how social shit works.
Social rejection stings but it is sooooo far from the worst thing people will do you. Like this article is about a woman who was murdered. Dead is forever. Her life has been ended. She will never see her daughter again. That child has had a parent taken from her. And half the posts are about lonely teenage dick and how sad boys one day can get what they want. Ffs.
We are not owed friends. We are not born perfect. We are not owed love. It gets better because we get away from situations that were holding us back and because we make an effort to grow… And everyone benefits from that. But no one really ever has to like us in life.
Thinking about the way you affect other people as opposed to how you feel is a key aspect of maturity. Failing to grasp that isn’t a failing in others.
15 Likes
Being a teenage boy, raging with hormones, and constantly bombarded with idealized images of beauty and sexuality, meant being an “incel” for a lot of boys, even before the term existed, but in decades past it was also pretty standard for guys to grow out of it. Giving a name and ideology to the concept of being an awkward horny kid is like throwing gasoline on a fire. There’s no room for self improvement when you’re blaming other people for your problems. It’s a psychosexual dead end.
2 Likes
(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 12 hours unless flagged)
3 Likes
It’s what they do. They took the Tibetian symbol for the sun and twisted it to serve their own ends.
White people are lazy and good for nothing.
1 Like
The PUA movement had nothing to do with changing oneself. It taught that men are fine the way they are, and just need to learn a few simple tricks to score with as many chicks as they want. Partner? A notch on the bedpost and on to the next score is what makes you a winner.
11 Likes
I’m being very generous. I just meant that they said you should dress nice, exercise, think about what you say, while incels seem to think they should just be given sex with zero effort.
I also think my memory is shitty and I’m mixing up PUA and ladder theory (which basically said rush your relationships because if someone sees you as a friend, you can never shift to a romantic relationship). That was a pretty popular (and toxic) meme going around the internet a while back.
PUA was not good, it was just better than incels, in the same way Bush was a war criminal but at least he had a pandemic plan.
1 Like
Right… and racism was also once not only respectable, but encouraged and desirable. it made the world a worst place to be.
Seems like the rest of their comment was also defending online driving trollies as a harmless activity, until the right wing got a hold of it and incel boards that help you “conquer” women… 
7 Likes
