Originally published at: Dolphin with thumbs spotted in Ionian Sea
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Vintage The Onion article from August 2000:
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I, for one, welcome our thumb having dolphin overlords. Assuming we’re all even still salvageable at this point.
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“Hands! I know what I can do with these.”
-Jambi, Pee Wee Herman HBO special.
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Well, it’s been a good run, humans…
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welp…
if the male dolphins have opposable thumbs, they won’t need…
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Beautiful video…with too many exclamation points in the captions! 
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This article reminded me of two things: 1) the 1970s movie, The Day of the Dolphin (“Pha want be!”), and 2) Jojo the rogue dolphin around Providenciales, Turks & Caicos in the early 1990s that used to pleasure himself in the dive boat wake and sometimes sexually harass the scuba instructors working with students in the shallow waters off the beach.
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“So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
Now they have the thumbs:
“Thanks for all the fish, humans, now so long, g’bye.”
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Makes sense. What’s the quote?
“You know in many parts of our troubled world people are yelling, ‘Revolution! Revolution!’ In Tennessee, they’re yelling, ‘Evolution! We want our thumbs!’ The thing is they see people with thumbs on TV all day. That’s gotta drive them hog wild.”
– Bill Hicks
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Subject of my favorite Drunk History bit
love that one!
Drunk History is really fun! i do it every friday with my brother! (a drunk history account of our own. not anything to do with this episode of Drunk History.)
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