I was going to say that I love this thread because of the naked oranges and boneless bananas made my laugh so hard that I teared up. (Why can’t my neighborhood Ralph’s have such interesting items?) I even paused to think about people with limited dexterity due to arthritis 
while reading some of these posts. (Although we can admit that picture of a lone peeled orange sitting squarely in the plastic box was funny, albeit necessary.)
But then @scott7ree decided to chime in and ruin my buzz.
Yoink.
I steal the best gifs from you.
Julia Child is the last person who would have criticized your mayo technique. Her whole point was that the right way to do things was just as easy as the crap short cuts. But much more fun. She once dropped a raw chicken on the floor. Cracked a joke. Then proceeded to brush it off and cook it. On live TV. She was an awkward, sardonic, sweetheart weirdo who used chopsticks to make French omelets and firmly advocated for the food processor in all things.
I’ve been making my mayo this way:
It takes a little practice, but when it works you get tops mayo in all of a minute. And for the record I don’t have it down yet.
No the “plasticizers” are to my knowlege the Chems that make plastic wrap flexible. They vaporize, condense and then fall in your food as they cool. As explained to me by my friends at MIT many years ago.
Food grade plastic wrap cannot use plasticizers. You’re generally correct and may have been correct many years ago, but current regulations proscribe them. Usually it’s pure PVC or LDPE.
Join the club… but really it’s me that’s the trolley, obvs!
Another five minute like delay. 
Only in the mornings… 
Thank you for this. I love the idea of 2 minutes and the 100% success rate. I just watched the video. Gaaaaaah!
I loved Julia Child’s My Life in France (such an ambitious life, well-lived) and her honest, thoughtful, serious-fun approach to life and her work (I’m thinking of the cooking part more than her career with the American OSS* and later, Foreign Service). What a great big soul that woman has. Love her to pieces.
I was rereading her Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Volume One) at a friend’s a year ago and it must’ve been an older copy of the book, because there was no mention of blenders or electric mixers, just a wire whip (aka balloon whisk).
I get it about not shearing apart the olive oil with blades (thus the whisk), and keeping the mayo from tasting bitter. I use grapeseed oil if I am doing it in the blender. I gotta ask: what oil do you use?
*Btw… this gem:
'… Child was asked to solve the problem of too many of OSS underwater explosives being set off by curious sharks. “Child’s solution was to experiment with cooking various concoctions as a shark repellent,” which were sprinkled in the water near the explosives and repelled sharks.[10] Still in use today, the experimental shark repellent “marked Child’s first foray into the world of cooking…” ’
Most of her love of the food processor was in the later TV stuff. I mean she was on pretty consistently till the mid nineties. Large chunks of her most significant TV work is still on YouTube, so you can check it out (and I do consistently and drunkenly). I don’t know that Mastering The Art of… ever got updated with any of the new things she adopted later in life. I mean food processors weren’t really a thing when volume II came out in 1970, but she definitely raved about them in later works. Still remember watching bits and pieces of every TV show she ever made on PBS with my grandfather. LOOOONNG marathons every day when I was a kid with my grandpa.
I mostly use whatever neutral oil is on hand. Chiefly canola. We’ve had a lot of avocado oil on hand the past few months. Phenomenal stuff, smoke point over 500f. Puts a sear on a steak better than lard or even duck fat. I’m mostly concerned about the flavor of the egg and the acid when I make mayo. And I like to make things Japanese style, more yolk and a dose of MSG. Rice or cider vinegar, although sometimes I’ll use lemon juice. When you’re making mayo the fat, even when you use something flavorful like olive oil, is kind of the quietest bit of it. I find its better not to risk the bitters and stick to something neutral.
ETA: Holy crap I keep forgetting how much I love Bearnaise.
Don’t give em any ideas please!
for added fun
top: organically farmed
bottom: conventionally produced
nothing - the peel is sold separately as gadget for practical jokes
Something about that photo just apeels to me.
Capitalism 101: things only exist if people like them. If they can not make a profit, they will fail and disappear. Capitalism is the best economic system. It self corrects, takes advantage of human greed instead of being hindered by it, and is the ONLY system that supports personal freedom. Stop buying the things you pretend you don’t like. Everyone likes to SAY they hate corporations and foriegn made products and tons of things, but their wallets say otherwise. They are big fat liars and you all love all that stuff. The fact that they prosper is proof. Capitalism is awesome like that; it sees through your lies. People will pay over $2 for a liter of bottled water when they have an unlimited supply pumped directly to their home for a fraction of a penny/gallon… you blame capitalism for stupid things prospering when you should blame stupid people. Shaddap and finish your bottled water.
So people like stuff and they spring up out of thin air out of our likes? No one actually makes commodities, markets them, inbues them with meaning, it just “happens” because consumers imagine it?
All systems are made up of people, making choices, and at times, manipulating others in order to benefit in some way. People making choices on the consumption AND production/marketing level drive the market in particular directions. Consumers are not making choices in a vacuum that some faceless process then fills.
Bearnaise sauce on thin cut homemade French fries. Oh yes!
