I’m not going to go see if that actually exists, and you’ve written the perfect post.
I honestly can’t tell if you’re trolling, or if it actually exists. And I’m really wondering how that would work…
(kids, if it does exist, don’t lock up one of your orifices. Fun and games until something doesn’t work, and you have to get a lockable buttplug surgically extricated.)
I’m not trolling at all. I consider myself an expert and connoisseur of Aliexpress sex toys, but I would never try that one. It looks really dangerous in more ways than one.
Wow. That’s my only comment. Just Wow.
Well, just when I thought getting beaned in the head with a gigantic purple “Mr. Veiny” in Hollywood one night was going to be peak weirdness regarding sex toys, lockable buttplugs…
I think I’m going to join you in avoiding the sheer levels of sketch on this one.
And not just lockable buttplug, but internet of things one. Cory Doctorow’s words about “internet of shit” were prophetic 
Sooner or later, the Zoom* teledildonics** connection when neo-Nazis crash the call. Because it’ll always be the Internet of Shit.
Wouldn’t you put in a manual release just in case something went wrong? Thankfully updates and screw drivers worked for people.
Wow,
so “hackable locking buttplug”… Maybe I will buy a few, and anonymously distribute them to people I don’t like.
I love that idea
Here’s a link to it (warning - kinda NSFW, and nightmare fuel too):
Hmm…
Specifications:
Sexually suggestive: No.
I think something went wrong somewhere.
I guess it could be argued that a person oblivious to it’s real purpose would not find it sexually suggestive.
It kinda looks like some specialized tool.
On the other hand some specialized tools that are totally innocuous can look like they are sexually suggestive. For example just look at that three-clawed ball bearing puller:
Another good example is a concrete vibrator:
Even name is suggestive on that one. We had one like that at the university, but it was powered by 3 phase electric motor. It got it’s fair share of curious/uneasy looks.
Well the entry does say Anal plug chastity belt locks ass
I’d say that’s pretty suggestive.
Can’t argue with that.
And there’s one concrete vibrator called a “Wacker” as well.
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