Internet preacher: Because SCOTUS gay marriage ruling, Putin will destroy America for Jesus

boing
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And the black metal gif-off is away!

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Glorious!

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I donā€™t knowā€¦ You see the size of his crucifix? I think his theory checks out.

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Also, I just realized that a friend of mine has a son who looks like Varg when Varg was young and on trial! WTF?

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I guess so long as heā€™s not as batshit crazy, thatā€™s not the worst thingā€¦

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As the good book prophesied, so may it come to pass.

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Ahhhh yes, my old favorite, the self-proclaimed ā€œThird Eagle Of The Apocalypseā€ William Tapley. He never lets his failed predictions get him down.

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See? Jesus NEVER would have said ā€œit is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Godā€ or any of that other hippie shit written in red in the KJV.

I think the actual Aramaic said ā€œGive the rich men guns, so they can shoot all the camels and go directly to heavenā€. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong.

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As a Christian, I have to say:

What the fuck is this asshole talking about? He doesnā€™t even begin to make sense!

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No, heā€™s a great kid, actually. I have no fears of him becoming a weird-o white supremacist, church burning murderer.

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Holy Hell, where did you find that?

Whoever was responsible for the chop job, I would like to see more of their snark.

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I like how up front he says heā€™s also known as the ā€œThird Eagle of the Apocalypseā€. I couldnā€™t not google that.

Letā€™s just say ā€¦ heā€™s not fan of Denver Intā€™l. But heā€™s not the only one. Further googling reveals that Denver Intā€™l is ā€¦ well all sorts of things nobody has every accused any other airport of being. Good grief.

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A common feature of anyone focusing mostly on Revelation.

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Lots of amazing stuff!

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There are good reasons to hate DIA.

Nothing conspiratorial, though. If you live vaguely east, and fly a lot, you will end up sleeping on a bench there at some point.

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I fear that in response to this ruling, God will call down a plague of his followers. Hark! It has already begunā€¦

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Iā€™ve had this conversation with people who believe that the KJV or some other version of the Bible (in English no less) is the literal word of God to be taken completely literally (because itā€™s infallible donā€™tchaknow!).

Their logic: The Bible is the ā€œliving word of godā€ so any mistranslations, choices by clergy etcā€¦ in the past to include or not include things and whatnot were all guided by the hand of God for the explicit purpose of creating the 100% literal truth thatā€™s down in print today. NO DEBATE ALLOWED THANKYOUVERYMUCH!

Thereā€™s really no arguing or debating that kind of ā€œlogicā€ā€¦

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