'I've had Twitter sex with 12 Russian hackers,' nude model who sexted Guccifer 2.0 tells tabloids

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/19/ive-had-twitter-sex-with-1.html

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Does it really count as “Twitter sex” if you’re a nude model sharing a few selections from your portfolio? I’ve never been into sexting but I was under the impression that it required production of original content.

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These hacker messages sound straight up out of Party Down’s “Celebrate Ricky Sargulesh” episode where the mafia guy is tripping balls on his teenage memories of seeing Constance naked in a movie. Da, da, you’re so pure.

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Those pictures can’t be recent. 63, really? Perhaps her and Cher have some mutual acquaintances or something.

Some Vegas local has also posted a screed on her choice of employment of late. Grain of salt, of course.

I just don’t know what it all means.

“Mommy, what’s Twitter sex?”

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“It’s just voyeuristic mutual-masturbation, Timmy…”

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“I never communicated with anyone before that was as romantic as I am. You, amaze me.”

If her own cringeworthy messages weren’t also published that statement would put me in the awkward position of feeling sorry for both Hugh Hefner and Roger Moore.

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That sounds like the kind of “compliment” Trump would give to one of his mistresses.

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Call me a middle-aged party pooper, but how is this remotely newsworthy, or even “newsworthy”?

The joke’s on her. It really was that 400 lb guy on his bed in New Jersey.

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In a row?

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It’s fine. The Snu isn’t a newspaper. Or even a “newspaper”.

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“Twitter sex” might just mean they got jerked around like the rest of the free world.

Eh. Call me if it turns out they tagged in Roger Stone after he after asked them for recommendations for a gift of rubber sheets for a special friend.

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All you were missing was this:

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… “Platapussy?” I kid.

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Most of the people who get them are under that same assumption.

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It would be logical for Guccifer 2.0 to start a relationship with her if she was going to be useful to them in some way.

People still say sext? But nobody under 40, right?

Oh… this is a story from the Çun.

For those lucky enough not to know, the Çun is a “newspaper” that’s been controlled by the cacodaemon Rupert Murdoch for decades. Until a couple of years ago, it was notorious for its Page 3, which would feature a full-page picture of a woman with her tits out every day. It is also noted for its bellowing far-right rabble-rousing, such as its coverage of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster, which has led to it being widely boycotted in Liverpool to this day (the Liverpool Echo still won’t print its name uncensored).

It routinely runs “sexy” stories of this sort. These are 80-100% made up out of whole cloth by Çun writers (including quotations), using terminology not found elsewhere in human society, such as “bonk”, “romp”, “saucy” and “love rat”.

Although in recent years it has been somewhat eclipsed by the even more joylessly hateful Daily Heil, it’s important to remember that everyone who has ever worked for the Çun must still be destroyed too.

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