Did he ask for a knife and fork like Thiel taught him?
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Dude is not even really there. He’s clearly going through the motions of what someone in his position is supposed to do, but can’t actually be present to the people and place around him. Dude might not need any donuts so he doesn’t have a preference at the moment, but would it kill him to actually engage with the staff beyond their fucking work history like a management consultant?
“What’s your favorite? What’s the most popular here? I’ll have a half dozen of each.” See? It’s not hard, but it requires you to be something other than a badly programmed robot.
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He’s not VP material. He’s not even the guy you’d send out for coffee and donuts.
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Wearying of the couch, JD decides to find out what all the ‘rolling donut’ hype is about …
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This thumbnail has strong, “Nice business you got here. I’d be a shame if something were to happen to it.” energy.
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Walz needs to go to a doughnut shop and show Vance how it’s done.
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Yeah, and the “okay” as a response to every response was odd. I haven’t heard him speak much, but if that’s a constant thing it would drive me crazy. “Is it, JD? Is it okay that she’s worked here 6 months?!?”
Ha! Good point.
Yet another indication that the campaign staffers aren’t among the best. It’s true, one would expect that JD would know how to order donuts, but also, staffers at that level should be prepared with the history of the business and notes on what to order (if, say, there’s a specialty). Even if you saw it from across the street and decided to make an impromptu stop, that’s easy stuff.
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… any competent politician should be able to explain things like that whenever they come up, like, “I’m trying to keep my hands clean, I have to be ready to shake people’s hands at any moment,” or whatever
There’s nothing wrong with using utensils to eat
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That really could have gone better. I know how I personally would like to have seen it end …
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says “Yeah, what do ya want?”
I said “You got any glazed donuts?”
He said “No, we’re outta glazed donuts”
... and the rest
I said “Well, you got any jelly donuts?”
He said “No, we’re outta jelly donuts”
I said “You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?”
He said “No, we’re outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts”
I said “You got any cinnamon rolls?”
He said “No, we’re outta cinnamon rolls”
I said “You got any apple fritters?”
He said “No, we’re outta apple fritters”
I said “You got any bear claws?”
He said “Wait a minute, I’ll go check”
“No, we’re outta bear claws”
I said “Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?”
He says “All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels”
I said “OK, I’ll take that”
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin’ me all over
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin’ me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time
That a little ditty started goin’ through my head
I believe it went a little something like this
Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, aah, aah
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin’ my arms all around and just runnin’, runnin’, runnin’
Like a constipated wiener dog …
That would have been much better to watch. At least he’d be animated (and getting chewed up by weasels.)
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If you were, say, The Queen (gawd bless 'er soul) and you’d spent 50 years doing this shit day in, day out, then ‘how long have you worked here’ is a reasonable passing question.
If you are a VP candidate seeking election, with a bunch of cameras recording your every move … nah.
He doesn’t even have an advance team who go in and say ‘JD Vance coming in, do you mind if we film some chat with you in here?’ Amateur hour.
Just a shame none of them answered ‘Longer than you’ll ever work as Vice President, mate’
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[I told you, I don’t like ethnic foods - YouTube]
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He sounds like a rookie cop trying to make conversation at a traffic stop while his partner runs someone’s plates back in the patrol car.
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yo- it sucks when the teleprompter fails…
“Just play it cool JD, no weird shit… ok first question for the poors- so how much, just percentage… do you put away in your IRA? nothing, no one? wow. so what are these dough-nuts you make your living selling?”
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If there was ever a case for a policitian being a lizard person, it’s Vance.
Worse, he gives a bad name to actual lizards everwhere.
Copilot AI “make jd vance lizard person image” won’t make the image, but “make a lizard person image of an average white male politician” works a treat:
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Walz’d probably find the dinner that half the locals don’t know about, where they have the gift for coffee and donuts.
I get the feeling that Vance just barged in with his crew in tow, and didn’t even ask if it was okay.
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That is one oddly-specific, yet completely on-point song… Wylie Nelson for sure.
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That would explain the first person he spoke to not wanting to be on camera.
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I bet JD Vance is still a member of the Columbia Record Club and he only uses it to get “Now That’s What I Call X, Vol. Y” compilations.
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