Originally published at: JD Vance fumbles through painful small talk with donut shop employees in viral campaign stop fail - Boing Boing
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Simpler times, eh?
Vance looks qualified to order a donut, but …
Strong Lumbergh vibes
I don’t know what he was going for with the “how long have you worked here?“ questions but if this was meant to highlight something about working-class jobs it’s kind of funny that all those employees were hired during the Biden administration.
There used to be a Krispy Kreme just two blocks from where I work. When I had to order a mixed dozen to take to the office I would go in prepared with a list of exactly what I wanted.
But I guess no one told Vance he’d be visiting a donut shop today.
“How long have I worked here? Well, after I got caught running a fake opioid charity, I decided to lay low here at a donut shop for a while. I’m considering going into GOP politics.”
Give him a mixture of lemon-filled and coconut. Vance is already unpopular in any office he’s entered.
If I’m getting a box to share and I don’t have any specific preference I will sometimes just say “a dozen mixed donuts” and trust the person to just pick a random variety but that only works if you actually mean it.
Cinnamon rolls are usually priced differently than plain donuts so adding qualifications like that makes for a confusing and stressful order.
I’m surprised that he didn’t order a dozen whiz wits. Someone must have updated his briefing.
Why don’t they have swiss cheese?
Campaign Advisor: “Okay, JD. We’re going to film you going to some Ma & Pa shops. Just be normal – be friendly, engaging, make a little small talk. We shoot some footage like that, it should put to rest all of this ‘JD is weird’ nonsense.”
JD: Okay. I will ask each of them how long they’ve worked here, and then I will ask them what donuts I would like.
Because it’s a Philly Cheesesteak!
(Besides, it’s not like they’d mistreat a real Emmental that way. It’d be some melty “Swiss”-ee stuff that’s basically white American cheese, passed through a hole punch. Might as well go for the classic Cheez Whiz food product.)
I don’t think anyone is qualified to be President or VP (or any leader of a country), but Trump and Vance are high up on my list of the most unqualified for those jobs.
Harris and Walz may as well be qualified by comparison.
This proves it, I can’t watch any Vance videos without deeply cringing. This may be the cringiest yet.
Wholeheartedly agree.
And people say one-issue voting is bad. If you can’t put in your own donut order, am I really going to trust you to help run the country? F-this clown.
He’s weird and cringe, and it’s not just superficial! It’s like a sea captain ancestor of his fucked a Deep One couch in a strange chthonic ritual, and his entire line inherited a blood curse.