Jeb Bush confirms he would kill baby Hitler


#1

[Read the post]


#2

What if Mrs Hitler was pregnant with foetus Hitler?


#3

It “serial killer” runs in the family, need proof, just look at them.


#4

Does he also believe that the Bush family are destined to rule America from birth?


#5

This is why politicians need to read more science fiction. Anybody who knows the tropes knows that killing Hitler as a baby will just lead to a more competent fascist leader taking his place who will succeed in conquering the world.


#6

Do not let him near my time machine. Not that I’m defending past evil. It’s complicated but I needed Hitler so that I could meet my wife. 100% true, not made up internet snark. If her grandfather hadn’t landed in Normandy and fought the battle of the bulge, survived and come home at precisely the time he did, she would not exist. Thanks, Hitler! (You fuckng monster)


#7

Talk about “unintended consequences” … consider that “Bush’s grandfather, the late US senator Prescott Bush, was a director and shareholder of companies that profited from their involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany.”
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/sep/25/usa.secondworldwar


#8

Actually, killing baby Woodrow Wilson might have been much better in the long run.

United States stays out of WWI, Hitler dies in 1960 as an unknown ex-corporal and postcard painter.

(Edit - just wait till the next CNBC debate to find out the time-travelling baby-killing preferences of all the other GOP candidates!!)


#9

Seriously, if he wan’t to stop the holocaust, maybe he should have killed his own grandpa. Or the IBM execs who decided to send engineers from NYC to help them get their mass-murder-tracking software up and running. Or any wealth American who just gave Hitler loads of money.


#10

Well, its consistent with the idea that authority knows what terrorists look like at any age, disability level, ethnicity, etc. All those inconvenient messy deaths of innocents are just rounding errors.


#11

Huh, I totally expected this to be satire of some sort. Still kind of feel like it might be and yet.

Huh.


#12

exactly. the REAL question is would he abort fetus hitler!


#13

The headline reads better if you leave the last word off of it.


#14

“I’d do it – I mean, Hitler,”

Geeze, man, they were only asking if you’d kill baby Hitler. No need to go into further fantasies!


#15

Jeb needs to read this short short story by John Scalzi:

https://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/winter_2007/fiction_missives_from_possible_futures_1_alternate_history_search_results_b


#16

Of course not. Gotta wait until the kid is born so you can apply the death sentence! Abortion is murder, but state-sanctioned murder is “justice.”


#17

I would’ve paid sooooooo much money if the interviewer had followed up with … “in the womb?”


#18

I have spent a cumulative non-trivial amount of time (not all at once) thinking about what the world would be like if you took one woman born in some year and flipped the genders of her children. So let’s pick some woman in 1500. You could say, well it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t to produce originally, or this that and the other. May I wouldn’t be here, maybe I would be. Maybe we’d have flying cars.


#19

#20

But if Jebby killed little baby fetus Hitler, then WWII would never have happened, and GW would never have been shot down and he would never have had that story to use to get Barb all hot and bothered and so they would never have had Jebby to begin with.

Our news cycles, HFS. If anything, we should send Carson back–he’d stab the shit out of those pyramids everyone!