Jesus Christ-themed ouija board on Amazon is "a trap from the devil," says Catholic exorcist

Originally published at: Jesus Christ-themed ouija board on Amazon is "a trap from the devil," says Catholic exorcist | Boing Boing


So close to getting it

Swing and a miss


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Being an atheist - this all seems really funny.
However - I had a very unsettling experience as a teen. Some friends and I were bored so we pulled out the Ouija. Things were going as they do - with 2 friends colluding to say how I was about to die in a fiery car-crash, flunk my exams, remain a virgin etc etc.

Then - they started to really get into it - calling out for wandering spirits to break into this realm, possess one of us, etc. I got a bit uncomfortable and started cracking ghostbuster jokes - ‘who you gonna call’ types of comments.

At that point the reading lamp bulb illuminating the board exploded - throwing us into complete darkness. Needless to say - 4 teens were sent howling out of the room in a hurray.

Now - there are a number of reasons a bulb will pop (correlation is not causation). But in the intervening 30-odd years I haven’t seen this happen again.

Michelle Pfeiffer Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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Dana Carvey Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live


Of course not, don’t be silly, he only talks with you through kneeling and reciting prayers and fiddling with some beads.

How much ya wanna bet that if the Catholic Church made their own, official Jesus ouija board (“Now only $9.99, comes with one free indulgence!”) that one would be A-OK?


OK, that… seems a little weird… I feel like if you wanted to talk to Jesus something like a bush that catches fire would be more on brand.


It was until Smokey the Bear gave Yahweh a stern talking to.


They even made a documentary…

Is the product a joke/parody thing? I honestly can’t tell - a lot of Christian-themed products seem like jokes making fun of Christianity but turn out to be deadly earnest.

Nah, that would cut out the priests (and the church as a whole) from the process, and we can’t have that.


Despite the Christian imagery, Caro says the so-called Holy Spirit Board is just a Ouija board repackaged to trick Christians into using it.

Of course it is. This is Capitalism, buddy!


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Okay but you understand that it was 100% a coincidence, right?

Also consider your memory is likely flawed. Human memory is absolutely terrible, and your “popping” bulb may simply have been it burning out normally. Every time we remember a notable event, we change the details. We can’t help it, it’s how our memory recall works. We mix in things we saw on TV or whatever without even realizing we’re doing it. The more time has passed, the stronger this effect is.

Ghosts aren’t real.


I love spooky stories like this. But yeah, stuff like that is how you end up stoning people for a good harvest ala Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery, because it happened once and they had a bumper crop and figured the gods demand a sacrifice.

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100% coincidence!

But a very SPOOKY coincidence!


But you say Holy Ghosts aren’t real and people lose their minds!!


In other news, there are grown-ass adults in this world unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.

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Well, if the windows weren’t being illuminated by the light of a blood-red moon & there wasn’t the noise of either a howling dog, a screeching cat, or a hooting owl…accompanied by either a thunderclap or mild earthquake when the light went out… THEN you are probably safe from any marauding spirits that may have been conjoured up.


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Easily answered by checking the address of the seller:
“Lucifer productions, Warehouse 66, 6st Street, Way,Way, Way, Downtown”

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