Stranger Things Ouija board

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/12/stranger-things-ouija-board.html

As a hardcore Stranger Things geek, and someone who has had a few weird Ouija experiences, this is mightily tempting… Oh my GLOB, can you talk to 11 with this? Ugh, what if you end up talking to the shadow monster… :astonished:

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I got the shadow monster one time using my ouija board, it was just after new years

I said how was your new years, he said

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Malediction!”

I was like this idiot doesn’t even know he lost. So I was like why are you just such an evil ugly thing, and he said (excuse my gendering the shadow monster)

“The beauty of me is that I’m very evil.”
then he went on this long rant about his beauty, really, he said:
"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” and a bunch of other stuff about his physical attributes.

I started to get creeped, the Shadow monster is maybe flirting with me over the ouija board, so I told him I am a man just so you know you can’t impregnate me

“You’re disgusting”

yeah I doubt you’re really qualified as an expert on these subjects, shadow monster
“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

You’re not so great, you think you are but you’re not

“I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.”

You’re pretty stupid, you got your ass handed to you by a bunch of kids. What’s your next move, jerk.

“Why can’t we use nuclear weapons?” which got me thinking, maybe nuking him would make him stronger, maybe that was the end game with the government the whole time?

So I was like, you will never win, never!

“Eventually we’re going to get something done and it’s going to be really, really good. Or evil. Good for me”

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You still need a planchette? The lights don’t magically blink?

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Exactly. And the whole point was Will wasn’t dead, just in another dimension. Science, not mysticism!

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Ouija boards are just rude:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=oLShV8P5dgI

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