Jesus! Jesus and Santa Claus are verifiably white


#1

according to Fox News host Megyn Kelly.

I hate to pick this up from the Daily Fail, but recently started checking that silly site after all the BB furore around it.


#2

Santa is magic, he can be whatever he wants. But he’s better off being white at the north pole at least. Getting enough vitamin D has got to be tough up there. Santa needs to get his slaves elves to build him a sun lamp.


#3

I bet that scheming Megyn Whatsherface had the half-empty glass of milk DNA tested just to get the evidence she needed to say that Santa is verifiably white. What a cynical ploy.


#4

Being imaginary has its advantages. I pick a lime green Santa with a fuchsia suit and a cerulean beard. The talking heads can’t stop me, no matter how gaudy the color scheme. They are my crayons after all.


#5

Imaginary?


#6

She didn’t weigh in on the ethnicity of The Tooth Fairy too?


#7

I have a real set of crayons right here in my desk drawer, and an imaginary set of crayons, but it has many more colors :slight_smile:


#8

Sorry, misdirected reply:
I have a real set of crayons right here in my desk drawer, and an imaginary set of crayons, but it has many more colors :slight_smile:


#9

Her dentist told her the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist, so she doesn’t believe in it, and won’t talk about it.


#10

“But I was the office’s Secret Santa and I’m BLACK!!”

“No you’re not! Not even Secret Santa!!!” -Megyn Kelly


#11

I can’t wait for someone to build a time machine just so I can see the looks on neocons’ faces when they find out that Jesus looked more like Osama Bin Laden than Brad Pitt.


#12

For all we know he might have looked like Woody Allen sans glasses.


#13

Can we have a Gene Wilder Jesus? Because that would be so awesome.


#14

If I could like this comment a million times, I would.


#15

That “Godspell” version was reasonably close.



#16

You’d need to go far, far, far into the future for that brainwave to stabilise.


#17

To be fair, she probably just didn’t feel like looking up Dwayne Johnson’s family tree.

… I’m embarrased that I even know that that movie exists.


#18

Ashkenazis are a lot more European in admixture than first century Jews born in Bethlehem.


#19

As the old joke has it, “God wasn’t at all what I expected. First of all, she’s black…”

Santa Claus, given the specific origin of that myth, would be easier to defend as a nordic type.


#20

I quite fancy the idea of a United Nations type panel of Santas rotating annually. I’ve always been confused - is he a saint? Is he a Spanish saint? Why is he a Spanish saint with a German name?

My kids love him. That’s all that matters to me. I might wonder aloud where he’s from and what he looks like.