Fighting for you and a blue-eyed Jesus!
Depends if youāre going with the actual historical figure or the various legends that were combined to make the modern-day mythical character. The original Nikolaos of Myra was a Greek who lived in modern-day Turkey, certainly not a āNordicā type.
EDIT: Hereās a recent reconstruction of what scientists think olā Saint Nick looked like based on analysis of his remains:
As the Daily Show joked, we couldnāt have Christmas today if Santa looked like that because heād probably be placed on the no-fly list.
I sit corrected; thatās a valid point. (Moderately flattering portrait, actually.)
Another old gagā¦
āJesus was Jewish, right?ā
āYep.ā
āThat would mean Mary was Jewish.ā
āYep.ā
āā¦ Funny, I somehow always thought of her as Irish.ā
(God created Man in His own image. Man, being polite, returned the favor.)
Aside from the obvious absurdity of claiming that Jesus was āverifiablyā anything, given the dearth of material about him that wasnāt written years later (and which doesnāt actually talk much about what he looked like), and the implausibility of assuming that a palestinian jew would have been āwhiteā (or, for that matter, āblackā), isnāt anybody busy worrying about the melanin, rather than the message, kind of a sucky excuse for a Christian?
They arenāt technically engaging in idolatry; but definitely veering well into analogous territory, pathetically fixated on the meaty details of their godās alleged incarnation, rather than the, um, āgodā part. Regardless of whether your claim that Jesus looked like you is plausible or ludicrous, getting hung up on that detail says someā¦unflatteringā¦things about you.
Youāve hit on something tangential with me there. Olā Nick? Satan Claus? Iām getting worried about whoās coming down my chimney.
Totally. As I enjoy reminding christians, All Men Are Equal.
Then thereās the dyslexic demonologist who sold his soul to Santaā¦
So what is Yeezus supposed to look like?
You mean ×ש××¢ā ?
Consider his documented date, ancestry, and location in the world. The long odds are that he would look something like other folks descended from the Arabian/Egyptian/Nubian/etc. genepools, rather than the European heās often depicted as. (See above re āā¦ Irishā)
Unless you want to introduce completely gratuitous undocumented miracles. But thereās no record of anyone at the time thinking he looked unusual, soā¦
That, Sir, is a bloody good point.
I was in the British Museum yesterday, looking at a frieze / painting in the Egyptian area, and there are both North Africans and Nubians proudly standing out as participants, all mingled up, in whatever ceremony was being depicted.
He couldāve looked like anything at all. Just like any of them.
Satan Claus sort of appears in this movie on a drawing by the daughter of Bruce Willisā character.
Trickier question, since unlike Nikolaos of Myra we donāt have a body to base our best guess on. (The precise reason Jesusā body is not available for examination depends on your religious leanings.)
Duh, who doesnāt know that? I was attempting a joke.
Also, technically 38th century Jews as the year was 3760 (given that is really was 2013 years ago.)
On the other hand - according to scripture Joseph wasnāt the father and Mary was technically a surrogate mother as Jesus was conceived by the Holy Ghost.
So itās still anyoneās guess how he would have looked like.
On a related note: given that conception is supposed to have happened on the 8th of December and birth on the 24th of December (forgetting for a moment that none of the calendars used at that time had a moth called āDecemberā) he must have been really a fast tracker.
Thatās what he told her dad, anyway.
At least we can say he has no resemblance to any self-serving, over-emotional rap artists.
Didnāt it re-animate?
Did Mary actually agree to any of this?
Both reanimated and transported directly to heaven, depending on who you ask.
Amazing.
