Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/06/27/jony-ive-leaves-apple-but-wil.html
…
That whole monitor stand thing was the last straw.
Everytime I write about him someone always lets me know he has been knighted so let it not be thought I am ignorant of His True Stlying of Sir Lord Baron Designmeister-Supreme Jonathanathan Paul “Jony” Ive, KBE, HonFREng, RDI, ASLFKJHGASF.
I am sure that is the wrong font for his title.
𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕭𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓 𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖌𝖓𝖒𝖊𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗-𝕾𝖚𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖒𝖊 𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝕻𝖆𝖚𝖑 “𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖞” 𝕴𝖛𝖊, 𝕶𝕭𝕰, 𝕳𝖔𝖓𝕱𝕽𝕰𝖓𝖌, 𝕽𝕯𝕴, 𝕬𝕾𝕷𝕱𝕶𝕵𝕳𝕲𝕬𝕾𝕱.
S̃̋̃̂̂͂͛͂͋̌̿̇͟͏̡̝̳͓̩͉̳̬̞͚̹̝̫̟̺͓̩̦̰͉į̵̵̶̖̜͓̱̲̝̪ͤ̈́̅̌̑͂̈͐̉̋̚͘r̷̷̍̾̃ͨͩ̇̍͛̾ͨ̈́̇ͭ̑̆̾҉̱͇͕̖̞͈͟͜ ̡̙̮̘̙̤̤͉̜̥̦̫̖̭̩͍̫̱͙̦ͨͨ͆͌͛̇̓͋ͧ͘͠͠L̠̲̱̼̩̭̥̥͉̺̙̜͇̲̳̲ͪ̂́͐̑̌̆͋̇̾̂̌͋̕͝͞͠ͅô̖̰͕̘̝̞͇̆̿̑͂ͪ̀r̸͇̣͚̱̰͉̝̱̜̲ͧ̑̄̊́͡͞d̡̨̤̘͙͎̟̼͉̩̲̰̩̜̥̳̘̲̞̖͐̅͐̿͒͊͋̽͊̓̆̇͛̔̕ ̴̢̡̤͈̫̭̝͕͎̟̪̙̪̮͚͖̗͍͍̆͗ͪ̐̈̐ͥͭ͊ͣ̔̈́͋̀̍͋̿͒B̸͇̗̲͙̜ͧͤͧͭͯ̇ͭ̀̿̋̀̊͊̇͒͟͜͡a͒̓ͫ͋̓ͦ͋ͯ͋ͫ҉̯̲̼̲̼̪̙̠̲͙͘͢ȑ̶̛̻̣̲͔̘̩̬ͨ̆̈͆͆̉͐͊ͩ͆ͨ͊̈͊̽̚̚͠͠ò̙̫̤͓̩̪̗͉̳̪̯͚͆ͬͩ̿̐̕͜͠͡n̹̟̥̥̰̲̤ͦ̊͌̔ͣ̾̂ͧͦ̍͐͛̑ͧ̇́ ̡̰̙̖̞͔͉̗̪̻̆̇̆̉͌ͮ̈ͪ̓͗͊ͤ́͆̓̉͟Ḑ̶̮̭̪̮̮̘̬̑͒̋ͩͤ̀ͤ̆̐̂̿ͯ͟͜ę̨̧͉̘̯̙̫͉̺͉̮ͣ͆ͬͤͮ͗͢s̸̵̮͖̱̠̮̗͓̰̙̜͖̱̹̲̼̦̪͈ͥͣ͋ͤ̄ͦ͐̑̈́ͥ̚i̍̌̆͋҉̧̰͎̠͇͇͓̪̖g̴̨͖͚͙̩͖̫̝̥ͩͣ̌̈̏ͩ͟͜͞n̲̯͎͈̘̼̘̱̣̟̫̠͖̭̦̥̺͋ͬ̅ͯ͘ͅͅm̧͖̲̹͖̞͓̰̤͈̫̼̲̩̲ͬ̉ͧ̓̄̆̍ͫ̓̇̄̆̑͘ę̧̣̞͔̮͖̟͕̜̜̩̫͓̦̣̖̀͒ͭͦ̈́̓̌͊̒ͬͨ̓͆̌ͅi̸̧͙̠͍͔̬͉͉͉̯͎̜̙̪̮̟̥͓̟ͫ̽͊̉ͫ̆̏ͨ̒̌̑ͥ̚͡ş̴̶̻̥̠̙̜͙̮̖͎͓͎̺͚͉͌ͤͨ̿ͣͨͩ͆͗̊̏͒͐̓̂̎̕ͅt̛̹͙̱̣͔͎̳̰͇̗̖͕̬͇̮̞͚̩̽ͤͮ̒ͭ̄ͮ̀́͠͠ȩ̧̨̰̳̥̺̦̫̪̭̝̮͎̥̺̪͉̦̖̘ͪ́̽̽ͤ̿͡͠r̸̛̼̩̤̲̥̝̖͓͙̣̒̓̒̅̓͒̐͐̉̿ͤͅ-̴̨̯͎̫̼̼̩̰̞̐̎ͦͫͬ̇̀̌́̍̀̉̂͂̎͆ͧ̀͞ͅS̷̡̛̥͙̤̯͖͙̘̮̗͓͓̯̯͓͓̓ͨ̇̉̾̈́ͭ̇̌̐̈́̏͂ͧͤ͐ͅǘ̴̺̗̠̫͔̦̭̳̘̩͚͎͖̔ͬͮ̏͌ͥ̀́͠ͅp̷̸̸̡̫̪͙̹͕̭̳̖͎͈̯̲̳͍̺̟̲̄̃ͯ̐̄́͒̾ͦͨͅr̨̩̩̠̜͈͔̠̮͖͓̣̹̙͈̘̳̖̮ͤͮ́̀̋ͪ͗ͤ̋̅ͧͬ̂̒̒̅ͅe̸̢͙͔̩̜̼̝̰͔̦͙̰̦ͪ̓̑ͭ́́m̭̯͚͕̮͙͖͖̯̬̜̆͋̌͐͐͛̀͘͞e̽̈́ͤ̐̽̂ͧ̾͊ͨ͋ͧ̉̓̉̀̐҉̢̢͡҉̙̮͇̫͓͖̫͉̟̦̤̬ ̴̢̢̗͇͖̭ͪ̎̄̈́̊́J͔̩̗̬̱̫̤̞̞͖̊̐̀̾̎̂͐͋͊ͮ͛̀͜ǫ̸̢͓̲̜͈͎͍̃͗̓̒̒̐̒̍͋̑̅̚̕n̡͎̻͉͓̜̞̹̯͎̗̘̤̝̠̑ͪ̍̋̎̌̒ͬͭ̍̍͛ͭ̀a̡̧̖̺͓̯̗̜̝̰̫ͭ̒̇ͭ̀͘ͅt͂͆͗̉̇̋҉̞̱̠͖̤̀͝h̸̻̱̳̬̮̮͓̲͓̝̭̩͓͚̮͚̥͊ͥͤ͗͆̌̒͌͑̍̽͂ͮ̚͜ḁ̸͎̦̣̗̣̩̝͎̻̲͕̖̹̮̱ͬ̂̀͋̋̚͡ͅn̢ͭͤ̈́̒̄̌ͬ̍̌ͯ͛̊̍̚͏̴̣͖̠̜̺͉͎̭͕̤̲̗͕͕͓̪̥̕͝a̶̱̤̱͔̼̯ͦ͌ͭͥ̐̏̀͊̌̿͌ͪ̎̾̓̿͌̍̏͘͘͢ṯ̴̢̢͎̻̞̻̞̖̼̗̇̏̅̐ͫͩ͜͡h̶͇̠̱̪͓̝̺͔̖ͮ͑ͭͭͨ̎͘a̢̛̿̉̈̽ͨ̎ͫ͑ͩ̑̐͗ͭ̐̌̎̄ͯ͏̴͎̪̰̯̖͓̝͞ṉ̴̵̟͉̻͛̈̆͗ͤ̋̐̑̓͗ͮͨ̃̌͜͢ ̴͙̪̦͚͓̜̬̫̳̋̂̒͂̋ͪ̆ͭ̋̀̏ͨ̾͋̌̅̕P̸̧͖̻͙͙ͯͩͬ͟͡a̷͉̼̠͇͚̬̜͓̘̪̠̫̜̎͆̾̽̒̾̔̍ͭ͂̏̒̽̓͋͌ͭ͋̃ͅu̶̶̢̯̮̻̰͉̙̖͕͓̖͔̗̥̬ͥ̽͂̄͢͜ļ̸̧̭̞͇̬̘̤̱̣̩̤̱͎̬̟̼͈ͮ̍̉̃̓̆ͧͧͨͦ̍ͦ͊͗́̀ͅ ̇̏͊̽̎ͧͦ̉̇ͣ̔̒̆͞҉͈̫̮͉̱̦̣͚͎̫̞̮̜͚̘͞“̶̵̷̛͚͚͎͍̫̖͕͕̜̘͉̙̺̼̥̝̠̪͗̆̇ͥ̓̑̇͒̚͡J̵̵̧̤̙̪͇̪̫̹̭͚̩̈́ͨͭ̎͗̃̈́̿̈̎͒̓̌̚͞͞ǫ̈̔̅ͤͫͪ̓͌̀͂͑ͮ͊̔̐ͫͯ̑̿͟͡҉̸̟͕̹̤̩̞̙̤̝̭̖̳̙̜ͅñ̶̢̡͔̜͔̮͈̰͎͉͇͕͚͉͈̦̣̟ͯ̉ͤ͊̈̒͒̈́ͯͥͧͫ̋̓̇y̢̢ͯ̃͐ͪͩ̊̓ͩͧ̕͡҉̞̣͚̘͉̻̜͙̯”̵ͭ̐̑͐ͫ͂ͫ̂͂ͦ̐͂͌̾ͯ̒̃̂̊͘̕҉̡̝͉̙̘̫̳̩͖̣̳͇̱ ̛̪̦̻̯̟ͣ̉̇̊ͩ́Ḯ̵̮̖͉̠̩̖̱̮̟̪̬̳̗̝̱̭͙͓̄ͬ̊̏ͪ̓̃͟͢͝͡v̨̘̱̬̰̱̠̦̙̯͙͍̩͓̺̱̼͌̃̏́̈̿͒̅͑ͨͨ̈͌ę̃ͧ̎̅̓̐͛̅̚͡͠҉̡͓̯̝̲̻͙̪ͅ,̸͍̻̪̤̤̿ͧͧͣ̀ͬ̀ ̎̓̽ͧ͒̑͆̅ͭ̅͡͏̱͙̖̼͉̣̤͟ͅK̷̛͈̼̣͇͕̥͍̪̰̩̩̺ͮͦͩͮ̃́͐̾̾̚̚B̴̶̢͖͍͇̝͙ͩ̀̀ͫͯͯͨ͑̂̏ͫ̅̂̎̒̓̾ͯ̃͟ͅEͪ͒̾ͩ͒̾̄́ͩ̋̎̉ͪ̐ͬ͒̀̚͟҉͉͈̮̰̙̻,̗̺̹̥̮̮͉̩̣͙̳̳͔̝̊̊̾̀̑̿̈̽ͬ̚͜ ̷̧̞̹̭͙̮̳̳̣͖ͦ́̑̈ͦ̎̃̓̉ͩ̑̏͊̉ͬ̎͗H͒̄̃͗̀͒̏͑̄̑͆͌҉͘҉͇̯̱̩̯̲̺̩̲̰̘̹͇̕oͤ̇̏̓͛̆͜͏̨̢̺̻͇̺̝̣̰̲̦̞̹̬̝̳͍̖̥̳n̴̨̛̟̠̬͚̭̗̫̳̠̍ͨ̔ͣͮ̈̊ͤ̇ͦ̄͐ͨ̓̿͠F̧͈͙̙̤̝̟̖̹̞͈̪̬͔̭̬̯̜̔ͩ̆͗ͦ͋̏ͨͬͮ̂ͫ̿̆ͬͧͣͪ̂̀ͅR̡̺̭̬͚̼͓̯͍̭̯͉̬̻̭͈̒̑͋̑͋ͩ́̊̏̐̓ͭ̈͌̚͝ͅE̵̹̦̣̩̮̮̺̹͊͛̃ͩ͋̔̉̏̕͢n̨̺̮̖͙̯̲̥̣̗̟̠̻̦̹͙̦͗̅̑̽͑ͩ̆̿̒͜g͈͚̥͕̘̣̺͙̦̞̹̗̖̩̭͂̃̈ͭ̚̚͢͜ͅ,̴̴̢̻̳̬̩̣̯̞̗̹̹̪͖̙̇ͬ̃͋̔̍̒͌͛͊ ̶̨͚͓̠̗̣̜̙̟̘͙̥͕̲̦̝͈̞ͫ̍̐͑ͬ̌̃ͥ̎͆͗ͫ͢R̘̪̬͙̹̯͇̦͙͕̪̪̘̃ͦ͆̑ͥ̓̓͊ͤͫ̾͋́͝Ḑ̵̝̣̤̯̥̖͖̦̱́̄̈̔̎ͦͯ͂̀̎͂̾̊̀͘͢Iͥ̒̈ͪ̈͗̄̀ͥ̉͂͊͒̑ͬ͏̶̤͙̺͢͡ͅ,̨̧̨̩̱̝̝̺̹̩͕͍͇͉̥̳͖̊ͣ͛̈ͦ͐̿ͨͧͧ̓͑͗͆̈͂͂̚͞ ͇̳̖̤̼̗̝͔̬͆̎̔̈̑̿͑͌͌́ͬͣ̅̓̆͐ͮ̋͟ͅA̢͒̓́̿̇̏̊ͯͬͮ̀͡͏̶̪͚̲̘̖͍͚̣̩͇̫͉̲̰̰͍̩Ṡͣͣ͛ͧ̆̑̾͋ͣͤ̄̏ͨ̍̿͘̕͝҉̞̥̗͎̦̪͉̤̥͈̫͍ͅL̛̛̛̘̤͎͎̝̠̭̼͔̻ͯ̿ͤ͗ͥ̌ͤͨ̈́͒ͯͧ͒͂ͨ̒̄͂͢͡ͅF̴̡̧͇̮̝̙͙̪ͭͥͮ̀̔ͬ̃ͭͨ͌͠K̴̨̨͔̣͍̘̤̱̙̘͖̝̩̫̯͎͈̺͆ͬ̓̍̂ͫ͊̏̎ͣͨͧ̄̂̑̀ͅJ̶̖̦̫̞͔̰͔͔̹͇̮͕̠̺̩̹ͪͨ͐̑͆̋̇͗ͫͨͥ̊͂͛͂ͮͨ̅͟͝H̨̢̀͋͛̾̍͗͗ͧ̈ͬ̕҉̥͖̱̲̙̟̱̼̬̣̪̣̬͙ͅĜ̖͎̟̲̫̺͓͕̰̤̏́ͤ̽̕͜͝A̶̺̭̗̱̥͖̺̙̱ͧ̊͋ͬ̄͌͌̔ͭ̓͑̈́ͬ̈͟͜͜S̽͌̂͋͗͐̉͛̅̉͏̻͖̭͎͎̦̀F̷̡͎̲̮͕͍̲̭͇͓̘̠ͬ͂͌ͬ̇͗ͥ̀͌̓̀̌͋ͦ͘.̋̇ͥ̿ͫ͑̿̇̽̓̂̓̈́ͦ̚͏͉̺̥̭̮̮̰͓̼͔̮̞͎͓̖̱͍̖̖͡
… Sir Jony Ive, ladies and gentlemen.
Jony Ive leaves Apple, but will keep it as a client
Guess he took a bite out’a Apple.
“But that keyboard design is a thing of beauty. My crowning achievement! I swear to [a deity or deities], if you change it in the next Macbook, I’m out of here!”
- Fantasy Sir Jony Ive
What? No mouth/eye swappage?
You’re slipping mate.
Maybe now the industrial design team will allow devices to actually have depth rather than trending towards paper thin uselessness. Can’t innovate my ass! Turns out it was too innovative. Waaaay too innovative. Now the new Mac Pro has an innovative price.
ps - yes I know that quote is from Phil Shiller. You don’t think SirJonnie didn’t have his fleshy meathooks into the trash can mac pro right up past his elbow? p’shaw!
I couldn’t figure if this was “rats leaving the sinking ship” or “get out of here, and take your thousand dollar piece of metal with you”… I’m leaning towards the latter.
I wonder who else is allowed to be his customer?
I still adore the clear acrylic plastic on the G4 model power Macs, in addition to the cube. They always looked beautiful to me. Also the fact you could open up the G4 and actually add your own hard drive, ram, cards, etc. The G5 aluminum rectangle always felt like a downgrade to me, from a purely aesthetical point of view.
I still buy apple products, but the design isn’t quite as exciting. Ive defiantly helped in setting new design standards for an industry plagued by ugly beige boxes.
Good. Fuck his form over function designs, and fuck his stupidly spelled name.
–
Sent from my iPhone
Awww. “Jony Ive is alive!”
It’s not unreasonable for the hardware it brings, designed not for us lowly mortals, but for immortal, soulless corporations. It had to be a Xeon platform because consumer Intel CPUs are crippled in PCIe lanes and RAM capacity.
Yes, but so were Robert Mugabe and Jimmy Savile. I am not going to show deference to someone because Brenda put a bunch of letters after their name
That crumb tray clear acrylic keyboard was his deal right?
It helps keep crumbs off of the desk I guess.
Good. Dude was well past his sell-by, and I hope this means he’ll have little in the way of actual influence over future Apple designs.
It would be nice but I’m not holding my breath. I’ll believe it when they bring back physical ports. Till then I’m rocking my 2015MBP with SD card slot and HDMI as well as my iPhone SE with headphone port and non-bendy design.