Wouldn’t that be contempt of court?
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I’m amazed disturbed if the judge would sentence her to ever knowing about the ‘nice things’.
edited for clarity.
Complimenting an ex? Talk about cruel and unusual.
What do you mean? If the problem is abuse, how is having to write out 144 nice things about the woman he clearly harassed going to make him all of a sudden realize he’s abusive to her?
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I don’t think the point of a judicial sanction is thought control, but rather is to influence future behavioral choices.
Hoping an abuser will change inside is not my kind of errand!
If he feels that he has the right to be in contact with her, even though she ALREADY had a protective order, how is this going to change it? Isn’t this more likely to make him resentful and to possibly strike out again, maybe even violently.
At some point the abuser has to change at least their behavior or someone will die. Usually the abused.
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I don’t disagree. I edited my original post because my word choice may have been ambiguous.
I think the act of writing them is one thing. In the sense that our brains DO learn graphologically - the physical act of writing new things, creates new brain connections. On that level I find it clever, and possibly helpful to all involved. Mostly the perp.
I think the act of sending these missives… oh wow, that is another thing entirely, and has no place in a just outcome for the victim, society, or the perp.
He’s sentenced to writing about her. Not TO her as I read it.
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Could be, and I’d assume that’s the case… And at the end of the report, it says he’s going to leave her alone and I hope that’s true. However, there are plenty of cases where this hasn’t been true, where the abuser, faced with law enforcement, most certainly acts contrite and makes all the right sounds. Then they continue to abuse the victim. Not always, but in enough cases, that’s true for us to comment on it.
More often than not abusers need both punishment for their actions, as well as some sort of mental health intervention, though.
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I personally don’t know what anyone else needs. It’s always felt like an objectification of another person to tell them what they need. They often know and will say if I ask. It seems a slippery slope to worse objectifications to assume what someone else needs. Plus, I can only be wrong, which would probably be upsetting, and then the human ego is quicker to place blame than find it’s own part in any given conflict… So - seems safer to ask, and then listen. Especially about sensitive topics. At least as I see it, and then try real hard to practice.
100 percent of the time victims need Justice, and I do think there are people with the right temperment and character to Judge these cases, without objectifying anyone (or, arguably, objectifying all parties equally under the law) - via due process. (nothing an abuser cannot stand more than a level playing field!)
ETA:
Could be, and I’d assume that’s the case…
Separate issue I think: I’d assume so too, other than from the headline of the post and body of the linked article, my sense (and hope) is that a judge that sentenced a victim to further contact would be removed fro the bench, even in this political climate. So the headline and article are not clear - irresponsibly so.
As such I am not so sure victims of such violence need to come here to be mislead by ‘poorly written headlines’ (which tend to please me when they are about politics or hoisted petards - not so much when they’re about chronic abusers and other things I can empathize with all to well) which often leads to people’s heads a poppin in the peanut gallery. (occasionally guilty here too!)
Color me disappointed? Gosh, just a little! In BB. But not at all in you. Thanks for drawing that out of me, I’d hate to have been misunderstood.
Sorry to suck so much.
Disappointed in BB, not you. You constantly amaze and impress.
as I said:
not at all in you.
No, no… it’s fine. I’m a disappointment, believe me.
I do, reflexively. And just as massive a one as I am, I imagine. 
You can’t really dis-appoint me. We don’t have any appointments scheduled.
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