Originally published at: Kanye West files trademark for "YEWS" | Boing Boing
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Go home 2023, you’re drunk.
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Yews are evergreen, not deciduous.
I know this because some of my best friends are yewish.
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This is exhausting
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Yinz was taken. 
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Isn’t a deep envy of the fact that jews have a volume licence agreement with god, while everyone else is stuck buying per-seat through a value-added reseller, a more or less evergreen feature of antisemitism, with particular pain points surrounding abrahamic monotheisms with prophets whose legitimacy implicitly depends on superseding or substantially amending the original contract?
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And only enormous if ancient. Yews grow very slowly. To get to the size of the picture in the OP takes about a millennium.
Anyway, hopefully Ye is going to taste all the yews as part of his trademark application
( yews are poisonous in case that part wasn’t obvious)
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Maigh Eo - Plain of the Yew trees
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Someone should get ahead of this and write songs with you/yew and use/yews word swaps and yews (sorry!) the sample of Rita Moreno yelling “Hey Yew Guys” from Electric Company, and do it lickity-split. He can’t legally prevent songs about the tree right? Maybe also do covers of all the Prince songs where The Purple One used the letter U and replace it with Yew, ( I would Die 4 Yew, Nothing Compares 2 Yew).
Rita, take us home… Hey Yew Guys!"
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What about yutz?
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It’s not like there aren’t songs about yew trees already.
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The red arils are edible and tasty, (or resinous and slimy, according to some critics) but the seeds inside, and every other part of the plant is poisonous.
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Because putz was take?
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They not only grow very slowly, they stop and start. Sometimes from hundreds of years. In the nineteenth century in the UK, some busybody clerics decided that their churchyard yews were dead, and had them felled and removed, much to the disgust and protest of their better informed parishoners. Others, more careful, had their beloved yews moved, at great trouble and expense. That’s at least one reason why Yews are typically found in churchyards - the yew is a potent symbol of resurrection. The normal means of aging a tree by counting the rings does not work the same way as with other trees. The rings have to be compared with examples from hundreds of years earlier, because there will be gaps in the record. Another, less obvious reason, is that the aristocracy hated them - and still do. Why? because yews are poisonous to horses. Not to sheep or cattle, apparently, but horses will eat them and it does them no good at all. Horses can also get violently ill on sycamore seedlings, my wife tells me. I am corrected by Chenille that yews ARE poisonous to horses, cows, sheep and goats. Thank you, Chenille.
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I assume this is his “genius” attempt to appeal to and promote (or maybe just become the spiritual leader of) this desirable demographic:
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Well, this has been a shockingly informative thread. Thanks, yew buncha nerds!
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I suspect these will be egregious.
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To quote the viral fake entomology of the middle finger:
“Pluck yew!”
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The folk history I’ve heard is that Yews were grown in graveyards because (a) they were need for the Medieval arms industry, and (b) they were poisonous to farm animals; so they were grown in side the graveyard walls to keep the animals away from them. This might well, of course, by bolly-hollox.
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