That’s a great example, really. The only reason I ever remember the actual quote is so that I can say “search your feelings, you know it to be true” to people.
In Soviet Korea, dog eats you!
The politburo makes all the decisions — the fat kid is just a figurehead of Big Brother. The death by dogs sentence was pragmatic as well, unlike Ivan IV, who actually had power, and was pretty schizo.
The next decision will be to cut out the middleman and start eating yourself.
The story has been around in some form for weeks; it just lit up the internet today.
The more plausible story is bizarre enough: execution by anti-aircraft guns.
if you don’t want t read an entire analysis piece, here’s a 140 word snark version
AA guns will do some gruesome things to you (and anybody standing too close will be doing some serious scrubbing to get all the stains out); but sheer oddity aside, if I somehow end up on the pointy end of a firing squad, the bigger the better.
The audience might care about how splattercore the event is; but my primary concern is how long I get to enjoy feeling my neural network being catastrophically disrupted before the disruption goes far enough to stop that. Rifles do the job, if the operators don’t screw up; but the bigger you go the harder it is to avoid near-instant death. Messy, sure; but that isn’t the victim’s problem.
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Being eatten by dogs is such a universally offensive idea in most cultures that even without any other evidence I would strongly suspect invention. It’s the sort of outlandish, humiliating death account that exists to serve the role of denegrating the victim, of painting them as so dishonorable or wicked that their death, too, was necessarily equally dishonorable or wicked.
It is, of course, a timeless tactic - the ancient Hebrews asserted that queen Jezebel of northern Israel, whom they resented and disagreed with on points of religious stance and perceived morality, ultimately met her fate at the jaws of a pack of dogs (as opposed to at the hands of Hebrew assassins, which is the historical likelihood).
I remember reading a translation of lyrics (I think about the Battle of Adwa) which went something like, “we’ll throw your innards to the jackals, who won’t even want them.”
If the headline had been ‘Kim Jon Un Fed Dogs to Uncle’, I think it might have just been a press release trying to to make the regime look magnanimous.
Pretty typical propaganda. It works and that’s why they keep doing it.
Well duh, hence the reference to mafia pigfarmers in the post. 
This is really lame, but my brother and I use the damn set phrase.
one of us will say something’s “not true, that’s impossible” and the other will always reply “search your feelings, you know it to be true.”
I we don’t have much in common, but we both love Star Wars, so there’s that.
Yeah. I’ll take being turned into hamburger in 1/10th of a second over eaten alive by dogs or shot in the general body area six times.
Americans still celebrate a guy who used this method with monuments, honorific streets, schools, buildings, and a holiday every year.
A minor correction, there have never been remains found. It was an item of clothing, found just outside a dingoes lair that led to her being released.
Santa?
Unfed Uncle and The Dogs.
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