Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/26/kleptocracy-excited-by-news-of.html
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Target is headquartered in Minneapolis, which is in Minnesota’s 5th Congressional District, the district this woman hopes to represent. There’s little one can do that is stupider than trying to steal more than $2000 worth of merchandise from one of the most powerful companies (and largest employers) in the district that one is running in.
ETA: If it isn’t obvious, Stella’s candidacy is a complete joke—she has very little chance of winning. Minnesota’s 5th is one of the bluest, most progressive districts in the country, and that’s why they elected Ilhan.
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Her cat needs tick spray??? Jesus, these people even make it hard to gloat at their misfortunes.
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She sounds like a charming garbage bag
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Stella is accused of stealing 279 items valued at $2,327.97 from a Target store in Edina, to the south-west of Minneapolis, on 8 January this year.
I’m so curious what these 279 items were. Where did she put them all? Did she steal them all in one go, or make multiple trips?
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I’m sure that this petty criminality will never be acknowledged by the GOP – they go for the really big thefts such as elections.
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Send her back!
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It seems like we’re getting to the point of running on a republican ticket will require a mugshot.
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My supporters are the best, really the very finest people. Believe me.
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That’s what I was going to ask. Certainly she wasn’t stuffing hundreds of items in her purse in one trip, but if they only caught her once how did they come up with this figure? Or does she make it a habit of going into that same store every week and stealing one or two things and they catch her every time? Or did they catch her once and apply all of the store’s shrinkage to her after the fact?
Also, the average value of an item she stole was less than $10. She’s not reselling anything at that rate. She’s stealing like a flat broke begger or a legitimate kleptomaniac and is also apparently wanting to run for office? This story is more crazy than the headline lets on.
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Stealing hundreds of $10 items? That’s not going to cut any ice with the GOP. Petty thieves go to jail where they belong. You’ve got to rip off at least $100k to impress the GOP, and you certainly can’t get your own hands dirty with anything but the ink off of fraudulent documents.
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Different store, where she took a full shopping cart through a self-checkout line and only scanned a few things.
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Looks like we got a new Secretary of Commerce over here.
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The reality of true believers is so warped that it tends to warp the surrounding space-time, providing ample storage space. Sort of like a bag of carrying, or the Tardis.
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Master thief she is not.
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With 279 items, I’m assuming she just filled her cart and wheeled it straight out the door, intending to pretend she simply forgot to pay if caught. I saw a woman do it once at a supermarket.
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I like this idea so much.
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A criminal complaint filed to Hennepin county district court alleged Stella was seen leaving the store without paying for most of her haul, after “scanning only a few other items” that were valued at about $50.
Ah, maybe it was a self check out thing. Does Target have those?
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According to the Guardian, her excuse was PTSD. She told police she remembers going to the store, but nothing after that.
This lady also has a DUI on her record, putting her in the elite company of W, Cheney, a couple of Kennedys. Seems like she would be a perfect fit for politics, if her shoplifting defense weren’t “anxiety around other people”.
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