Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/30/kranch-dressing-is-a-real-prod.html
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So basically Pommes Schranke nach Amerikanischer Art?
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The Scanners live a horribly lonely and difficult life, punctuated by brief intervals of cranching —use of a device that temporarily restores normal neural connectivity.
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Got little puke in the back of my mouth on that one. This is proof positive that Satan is real.
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Should go great with a Pizza Americano.
Which I first saw on the menu in a tourist trap in Finale Ligure ten years or so ago.
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$12.69 (!!!) @AMZ, $2.98 @Walmart. Krap for sale…
i saw Mayosup at HEB yesterday. so gross but reminded me of Vaunnies Mustardayonnaise. so without further adieu:
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what is? ranch + ketchup?
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Came here to post this very clip. Well played!
Previously:
Oh, and while we’re at it:
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Yup; regular condiments that are probably already in most people’s fridges right now, that one can mix together oneself, for a fraction of a fraction of the cost.
SMH
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Breakfast of Champions!
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Goodbye Daddy, I’m dying. 
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Oh man, they actually did that one in real life. I wonder if they chose the akward sounding “mayomust” because Mr Show had already made fun of the other obvious choices. https://www.today.com/food/heinz-creates-new-new-mashup-condiments-mayocue-mayomust-t149823
but why KRanch - the only thing from ketchup is the K?
should’ve been Ranchup, or Kranchup
but definitely not Retchup.
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That sure is what comes to mind when thinking about it.
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The birth or Ranchup
Survey: What do you put on your fries?
• Ketchup 69%
• Ranch 16%
• Mayo 5%
• Mustard 6%
• Other 4%
An actual 2014 unscientific survey here Note: the maths don’t add up
Meeting At Conglomerated Processed Foods Worldwide Incorporated International ¹…
● Corporate executive - Clearly we must cater to the widest audience possible so we are mixing the top 2 replies.
Corporate lackey -Shouldn’t we just sell ranch and ketchup, as we currently do.
● Corporate executive - I worked in the movie industry and we have to appeal to everybody, plus in this day and age we must show both sides of the argument.
● Corporate executive - But what about the ketchup for salad people.
● Corporate executive - Clearly the survey shows that people need to start putting more ketchup on their salads.
● Corporate executive - Kranch or Ranchup?
● Corporate executive - Yes, that’s the question. Kranch or Ranchup ? Send it to the advertising boffins²- but I am pushing ranchup.
● Corporate executive - There’s our advertising slogan! “Ranchup all over the place!” - make it happen Hennimore³!Note 1: This dramatization is completely fictitious but could be true if the facts supported it. Note 2: Boffin, I like the word. Note 3: All celebrity impersonations completely implied and figments of your imagination. Edits for clarity and sources.
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Bless you! I’d completely forgotten about that one… and about “The Best of Cordwainer Smith” book that’s been hiding deep in my library since 1976… which I’ve just pulled from the shelf. Dusty! (Included in the book is the 2000 AD to 16000 AD timeline of events covered by C.W., collated by sci-fi editor John J. Pierce. Examples, verbatim from the timeline: the collapse of all nations save China; rule of the Jwindz; early planoforming; and programming of embryos).
Guess what I’ll be reading today.
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Looks like an Italian joke played on ugly Americans.
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