He can’t afford one anymore.
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well that’s just weird!
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The thing is, for most people, having a secret family would mean they were off living a normal life somewhere. For Vance, having a secret family would mean locked in his basement.
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Is there even such a thing as a DNA test for “Blackness”?
All human notions of race are ultimately a social rather than biological construct, but “Blackness” is even moreso than most since there is more genetic variation within the African continent than all the rest of the planet’s peoples put together.
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Because they’re weird shitholes?
“Dear Mush-for-brains; MYOB!”
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googling suggests it is possible to do some skin color prediction based on dna markers. ( from 2018, and i don’t know if that’s held up. )
but regarding individual variation. yes, it far surpasses geographic homogeneity.
https://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/genetics/human-skin-color-variation
A wide-ranging study published in 2004 found that 87.6% percent of the total modern human genetic diversity is accounted for by the differences between individuals, and only 9.2% between continents. In general, 5%–15% of genetic variation occurs between large groups living on different continents, with the remaining majority of the variation occurring within such groups.
These results show that when individuals are sampled … the pattern seen is not a matter of discrete clusters – but rather gradients in genetic variation that extend over the entire world.
an interesting side note, research suggests skin color “evolution” hasn’t been one directional. that light skinned and dark skinned populations have been intermixed for longer than there have been people, and some dark skin tones have arisen out of light skin tones ( as well as the other way around. )
The study suggests that genes of light and dark skin are more fluid than we once thought. Three of the genes associated with the darkest skin are likely to have evolved from genes for lighter skin tones, Barras reports, meaning that people with the darkest skin tones, like herdsmen who live in the Sahara, may have developed that deep pigmentation in the evolutionarily recent past.
so i would imagine at least some of predication markers are about associating your dna with a population, and then looking at the appearance of that population. but… 
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I think they can give you ethnicity estimates based upon shared genes with others from those areas. A report on where your ancestors were from.
Two examples I found online:
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It’s so cold in Alaska… for JD Vance’s secret family!!! That’s what both Stephanie and Blake say…
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i think those breakdowns are so interesting, and am never quite sure what to think.
this text:
“Your DNA looks most like DNA from these 9 world regions”
has really got to be: “your dna looks most like the dna of other (currently living) people we’ve sampled who are in, or say they they’re from, a particular area… at least for the parts of the dna we test.”
there’s so many subtleties in that difference that when people are like: the dna test says i’m from germany ( or whatever ) that i’m not ever quite sure what to say. like … maybe? was there even a germany then?
but yeah, i assume that’s probably how some of the race derivation is done, and couldn’t really tell how accurate it is. ( by googling, law enforcement loves it. but, then they like handwriting analysis too )
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Those names are so waspy! Why is that family the secret one? Would it play too well for the MAGAts??
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LOL…
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“They were drinking a lot. At least half of them were very intoxicated,” the staffer told the officers, according to the video. “They were dropping profanities left and right, and were super loud.”
The staffer escorted the officers to a room on the third floor. It was 1:13 a.m. Spadone opened the door and was told his group was being evicted.
Over the next two minutes, the commanding officer repeated eight times that whoever was in the room had to leave. But Spadone seemed unable — or unwilling — to understand the order.
“Tell us what you’re doing right now,” Spadone said. “You have not told us anything.”
“Do you understand what the word eviction means?” the officer asked, clearly exasperated.
“I do not understand. Tell us exactly what you are doing.”
And then the officer did for the ninth time.
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I guess he didn’t last long with Steven Crowder.
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Well. If JD Vance is trying to talk to them on the phone I think that explains some things about the songs!
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while… funny… it seems an insult to Pee-Wee, who was just pure awesome.
Maybe it’s more like he’s the mirror universe Pee-Wee Herman?
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The super evil Pew-Wee. Like, the polar opposite
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yeah, maybe thats more like wee-pee? i mean, he and his ilk are always crying about how they’re the victims. so weepy kind of fits…
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…and Germans? 
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