Lauren Boebert says her husband was the victim when he whipped out his penis at a bowling alley

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Originally published at: Lauren Boebert says her husband was the victim when he whipped out his penis at a bowling alley | Boing Boing

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The guy with a penis tattoo was embarrassed? I have my doubts.

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“I know that wasn’t a thumb because thumbs aren’t 6 inches long.”

They arent three inches long either.

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flirted with Jayson, having heard previously from his friends what a catch he’d be

Now you know it’s a lie.

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One for every inch. Too bad we couldn’t use the metric system.

So her defense is “this woman told him to expose himself, so he did.”

Even ignoring that it’s not backed up by witnesses, it’s a stupid defense.

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I’m trying to understand how a 35 year old gets to write and sell a memoir. It’s not like she’s anything special or overcame great adversity.

It’s just another, I did it so anyone can do it book leaving out the parts about where she got the money to buy all those restaurants. Where did she get the money?

And losing 375 grand in two years and still staying in business? How does that work? She is just a mom and pop small business.

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And to think, if he hadn’t been so aroused it would have been only two days.

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Hahahahaha. These are great. Let’s do big/small/shaped boobs next.

/s

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failed “poison pork slider” vendor

Sooooo this phrase applies to BOTH Boeberts.

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So, here’s the followup I really really really want a reporter to ask her…

Why are your husband’s friends telling random women in bars that your husband would be a “good catch”? Doesn’t that bother you? It doesn’t seem to have bothered your husband that his own friends consider him to still be “on the market” for random bar hookups. What is your position on polyamory?

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Just a grifter grifting. For the people that voted for her, they deserve her. For the people in her district but didn’t vote for her, my condolences.

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So he’s told three stories so far? Well, that certainly convinces me of his innocence! He’s three times as innocent as someone with a simple explanation or a corroborating witness.

I expect to hear Mrs. B. claim it soon, anyway.

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Bimbo Bigot Barbie Boebert’s lips are flappin’, so she’s lyin’ or griftin’. In this case, she’s defending the man who married her, which makes him a fool.

#NeverVoteRepublican

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I’m too lazy to scroll through comments this time. Has anyone explored the “poison pork slider” double entendre yet?

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Bah. You’ve poisoned my pork slider comment.

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That’s what the tattoo artist said. :wink:

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All things considered equal, we’re all dumber for knowing these two people exist.

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My dad once advised me, “don’t dip your pen in the company ink.”

Nowadays, pens have their own ink, but the point still applies.

(walks away)

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Also, her argument was that he was somehow more inclined to flash his tatted tallywhacker because he was talking to his father in law.

Mr. Boebert has made several questionable life choices (dating Ms. Boebert, marrying Ms. Boebert, getting his dink inked, flashing underage women, flashing underage women in the company of his wife), but I am still trying to wrap my head around “well my father in law was with me, so to reduce embarrassment, it became incumbent on me to do the honorable thing, and wave my dick around.”

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his father in law would be her father. so it’s possible. i doubt the apple fall far from the tree

i am passing curious what she and her father were doing while the owner was asking her husband to leave… sounds like a whole bunch of nothing at best

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