the humor in the post is spot on.
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“They are like the village pets.”
Sure, they’re exactly like the goats that roam my town’s green. Except 5 times as large and every so slightly more lethal.
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It think it’s nice that they will predate the other animals to see if they are compatible before plunging headlong into an inter-species relationship that could be fraught with all kinds of dating issues. It’s much better than preying on them, which would be really mean.
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The Hippos skin can be about 6cm thick. (Around 2 and a bit inches). If we started eating hippos, think of the crackling you could get from that.
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Hippos have tusks? Do they get sawed off at the zoo?
The less said about what they do with their tails, the better. Let’s just say it is a good thing they are mostly underwater.
Various locals said the hippos seemed peaceful hanging around the village. “It has become normal to see them around here. It’s like being in Africa. It is a privilege,” said housewife Clara Nunez, 48…
Nowhere in the original article does it say anything about hippos attacking manatees! Lets get the story straight. Yes they are non-native and very dangerous but so far they appear to be hardly a problem. Just ask the locals!
Hippos are one of the most dangerous animals in water. Way more so than crocs/gators. I would not be happy to have them wandering around my back 40.
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Goats must be terrifying where you live. 
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In 500 years:
“Did you know, Luis, that hippos aren’t even originally from South America – they came from Africa, but there’s none left there.”
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Tusks, size (up to two tons), and anger management issues.
Sources differ on whether hippos or crocodiles kill more people in Africa every year, but the numbers are in the hundreds in both cases.
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Just going to leave this here:
Goats are as clever as dogs, say researchers at Queen Mary’s University
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They do, but I’ve never seen tusks like the one in the photo accompanying this post—that one is an animatronic prop from the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland. I assume it was built with giant fang-like tusks because someone didn’t think the real animals looked scary enough.
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I love manatees, but I kinda want to see that…
So not so much the Mister as the Master, in the ironic way that butlers refer to bloodthirsty little shits. Amirite?
Angry hippos would seem quite useful for discouraging lumberjacks, yes.
When I hunt hippopotamus, I use bullets made of platinum,
For if I used leaden ones, his hide would surely flatten 'em.
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Have you met goats? They’re all bastards.
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I initially read this as “lets check in with Pablo Escobar’s herd of feral hippies”
Sometimes my dyslexia sets me up to be disappointed.
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